


Duskmare

by Cennis



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, identity crisis, semi-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-01 20:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4033234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cennis/pseuds/Cennis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[For Bel] Roxas can only exist at night, but he longs for sunlight. Axel/Roxas, semi-au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HumanizedSerenity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumanizedSerenity/gifts).



The town was still except for the couple in the square. They were too lost in each other to feel the growing chill as the sun was pulled beneath the horizon. The shadows of the buildings stretched across the pavement, and within them, the Dusks came to life.

     Mid-summer was the most lucrative time for the Organization. The long days made people forget the threat the shadows held. They forgot to check their watches, forgot to watch the sky, forgot to run when the first screeches pierced the air.

     This couple was faster than the last few Roxas had cornered. As soon as they saw the creatures rise like mist, they made for the nearest building.

     'Tourists,' Roxas muttered as they battered against the fortified door of the shop. A curtain twitched on the upper floor, but the inhabitant had more sense than to lower their defences.

     Roxas lifted an arm, summoning Oblivion. He pointed it in the direction of the couple as they fled to another building.

     The dusks shrieked excitedly and lumbered after them.

     They must have been tourists. Most towns these days had curfew bells that rang every quarter of an hour as sunset approached. Port Royal was one of the few exceptions. It was every person for themselves once the sun went down.

     The couple had given up on trying to find sanctuary and were running blind. To the docks, if Roxas recalled the maps. A dead end if there were no boats to stow upon.

     One of the dusks disappeared among the paving stones, rising again within arm's reach of the woman. She faltered, lurched out of its grasp, only to crash into the tavern wall.

     Her companion paused, ran back to her, was the first to be grabbed. His scream was worse than the Dusk's.

     The zip of the Dusk's mouth tore itself apart, revealing a gaping toothless maw. With little coordination, the man's head was plunged within, the notches of the zip tearing into him. Two other Dusks appeared, attached themselves to his shoulder and leg. Between the three of them, they made quick work of the man, leaving tatters of cloth and blood on the paving stones.

     If Roxas had the capacity for such things, he imagined he would have felt rather sorry for the man.

     The woman was grabbed next, and she fought back more viciously than her partner had, knowing what would happen if she didn't escape. Not that it did any good. Though the Dusks could touch humans, humans couldn't touch Dusks. Her hands passed through its arm, the limb fading into black vapour then reassembling once more.

     Her scream cut the air, and though Roxas was high above the scene, he heard it as piercingly as if she was right beside him. What struck him more, however, was her lack of tears.

     'They always cry,' he mused, jumping from his current perch to a lower roof for a better look, 'Especially when they're not the first ones.'

     That summer alone, Roxas had collected well over fifty people, by way of the Dusks or his keyblade. Every last one had screamed and cried until there was nothing left to scream and cry with. But not her. Though she continued to scream as her arm was torn into, there wasn't a single tear.

     With a pensive expression on his face, Roxas balanced on the wooden canopy of the fish market, lifting Oblivion once more.

     At his silent command, the Dusks withdrew.

     The woman dropped to the ground. The Dusks had barely gotten started, so her only serious injury was her ruined arm, which she cradled against herself. With her other hand, she scooped up the scraps of her partner's clothes, bringing them to her chest.

     Roxas frowned, unsure what to make of it.

     Before he could think on it any more, something soared past his ear. It caught her dead in the chest. Her eyes barely had a chance to widen before flames burst from the heavy red chakram, swallowing her whole.

     The chakram clattered to the floor upon a pile of ash.

     'What the hell was that?' Axel asked from above, nudging Roxas in the back with his knee. Roxas allowed the push to force him off the canopy, landing in the street. Axel was quick behind, walking on to reclaim his weapon.

     'What was what?'

     ' _That._ You were doing great. Why'd you stop?'

     Roxas thought for a minute, but no real answer came to him. He wasn't sure why he'd risked easy prey getting away. He'd just _done_ it.

     'Dunno,' Roxas said with a shrug, 'She didn't cry.'

     Axel glanced at him from the corner of his eye, lip curling.

     'Mr. Sadist over here disappointed by the lack of tears?'

     'No!' Roxas objected, a bit too loudly. He realized a moment too late that it was exactly the reaction Axel wanted when the man began to snigger. Axel was always looking for a reaction, good or bad. 'No, I just... It was the first time I saw one not cry.'

     Axel mirrored his shrug, brushing against his shoulder so Roxas would follow beside him.

     'They don't always cry. Most do, but not always. Sometimes they scream, or run, or even just stand still and let it happen. One time I saw a guy try to beat one off with a stick. Takes all sorts of people, I guess.'

     'I suppose so.' Axel must have come from the docks. The shadows were darker there, had a depth to them that no light source could cause. They stepped into the darkness and began the fast descent. 'You're not gonna tell Leader, are you?'

     Axel's laugh should have been lost by the rushing wind as they fell, but Roxas heard it none the less, and the answer that followed.

     'Course not, Rox. Your sadism is our little secret.'

 

\---

 

Sometimes when Roxas slept, he woke up somewhere else.

     He knew it was real because his imagination wasn't as detailed as the not-dreams tended to be. Occasionally, after missions were done and they had five minutes to themselves, Axel would tell him stories and try to get him to do the same. Axel's were really good. He made the characters feel real, like they could actually exist somewhere in the world. For his part, Roxas struggled to even think up names.

     That was the first clue that the dream was real. He wouldn't have been able to make up a name like Sora.

     Sora was what Roxas would have been in the sunlight. They had the same face, though with some differences, and they liked high places. The first time Roxas woke up next to Sora, they were high up in a tree.

     'You have to come down eventually, Sora!' a boy yelled from the beach below, 'Surely there's a rule against this!'

     Sora laughed, holding onto the wide green leaves. When he spoke, his voice wasn't Roxas', but it sounded as familiar as his own.

     'What do you say, ref? Is this against the rules?'

     There was a girl lying on a low, slouching trunk. She pursed her lips contemplatively.

     'Wellll, we didn't _say_ no tree climbing, so I'm going to have to allow it.'

     Sora whooped, pulling a face at his friends below.

     Wherever they were, it was a tropical place. The sun was high in the sky, sand and sea all around. Even the trees were a type Roxas had never seen before. Perched on its top, there was little shade except for Sora's own shadow, in which Roxas was now residing.

     He couldn't see himself very clearly. Even when he looked down, there was only a black outline, with no details or features within. Yet he could see and hear everything that was happening as clearly as if he were there himself, though such a thing was impossible for a place so lit by the sun.

     He stayed with Sora all day. There was no other choice since he was bound to his shadow, but even if there had been, Roxas wasn't sure he would have taken it. Watching Sora and his friends laugh and play in the sand had him oddly enthralled. They weren't doing anything all that interesting, but the most mundane of things seemed more fun in the daylight.

     If Roxas had the capacity for such things, he wondered if he might not have woken up that night jealous.

 

\---

 

'There aren't any people out tonight.'

     Axel rocked on the back legs of the cafe chair, pulling his gloves off finger by finger. Snow landed on his hair, dotting the red with dissolving white. He hadn't bothered to wear the hat or scarf Roxas had offered, and only bothered with the gloves to stave off the worse of the burns.

     'Should we go somewhere else?' Roxas asked, standing uncertainly. Even though he couldn't feel the cold any more than Axel could, he still wrapped up. He liked the winter wear, liked the illusion of warmth it gave.

     Axel didn't answer for a while. There were no people in the streets, so no prey to be had. A wasted night. Leader wouldn't be pleased.

     'Nah,' Axel eventually answered, letting the front legs of his chair clatter to the floor, 'With weather like this, people won't be out anyway. December's always a dead month.'

     Roxas nodded, glancing around for the deepest shadow to return home.

     Axel caught his hand. Through the gloves, Roxas thought he could feel how cold his scarred fingers were.

     'No rush to get back. Fancy a wander?'

     Roxas frowned.

     'Why? There aren't any people.'

     'Just coz. C'mon, I'll show you something nice.'

     It would have been a more tempting invitation without the lascivious grin, but Roxas followed none the less, letting Axel keep hold of his hand.

     The town was a small one. It was no wonder they hadn't come across anyone, and Roxas briefly wondered why Axel had chosen such a guaranteed failure. Still, lack of game aside, there were worse places to spend a couple of hours.

     The buildings were white and wood, lines of little cottages boasting impeccable gardens. Most of the hedges were cut into shapes, clearly some neighbourhood competition going on. A rearing horse, a bear with its arms spread wide, a cluster of foxes chasing each other in a circle. That one was Roxas' favourite, their walk slowing so he could admire it a little longer.

     Beyond the houses was a small gathering of trees. To the inhabitants of the town, the thick shadows beneath the canopy of leaves must have been terrifying, but for the two of them, it was a home away from home. They dodged the deeper shadows, the paths back to HQ, to break through the other side.

     The snow had fallen thick around a frozen pond. Animals had been there recently, their footprints only just getting lost in the new falling snow.

     It was the sort of scene from a Christmas card, but it was the first time Roxas had ever seen the like, and he admired it silently for a while. His hand tightened around Axel's, and Axel gave an answering squeeze.

     'I was here the other week when the weather had just taken a turn. Pretty nice, thought you'd like it.'

     'Leader'll be mad,' Roxas replied, but he didn't sound overly concerned. He was more preoccupied with how the snow looked against the dark of the sky above.

     'It'll just have to be our secret then, won't it?'

     Axel grinned, letting go of his hand to approach the pond. He slipped one of his gloves back on, then a red glow engorged his hand. It wasn't quite fire, not the way it usually was when he fought, but as he touched his finger to the surface of the ice, the glow brightened and spread until all the ice had melted.

     He didn't let the red fade yet, gesturing to the ground around him. The snow melted until even the dewdrops were gone, leaving an oval patch of grass.

     The glow dissipated and Axel dropped to sit on the grass, patting the space next to him.

     'You'd be a good magician,' Roxas said, sitting down cross-legged.

     Axel blinked, then laughed. He did that sometimes, seemed surprised when Roxas said something unnecessary. At first, Roxas had thought it meant he shouldn't, but almost a year since their partnership began and he'd learned differently.

     He liked to make Axel laugh.

     'We talking pulling rabbits from a hat? Coz I sneeze like you wouldn't believe around animals. Allergic to damn near everything.'

     'I was thinking more top hat and cape, but you can have rabbits too.'

     Axel's eyes widened.

     'A cape, now that's a thought. Bit more dramatic than these leather coats, eh?'

     'You do love your drama.'

     'That I do, Rox, that I do.'

     Axel took him places sometimes. Mostly pointless places. No jobs to complete there, no people to collect. Once they'd gone to a city where fish swam on air instead of water and Axel had tried to catch them with a poorly constructed net.

     As pointless as it was, Roxas liked those trips. He sometimes thought about surprising Axel with one himself, but he didn't know the world like Axel did. The only place he could think of was Sora's beach. He wasn't sure Axel would like it there.

     'Munny for your thought?'

     Roxas shrugged, reaching out to dip a finger in the water. The cold was absolute, even without the ice.

     'Have you ever been to a beach?' he asked.

     'A beach?' Axel wrinkled his nose. 'Yeah, couple of times. Would not recommend it in boots. Why?'

     'No reason.'

     The silence that fell between them was a little different than usual. It prickled at Roxas' skin, made him want to keep talking. He wasn't sure what there was to say, though.

     Axel never had that problem.

     'I kept a shell, I think. It wasn't even pretty. I'd just not seen one before. Had this gross little slug thing in it too. Eugh. You can have it when we get back, if you want. Shells are the only good thing about beaches. Apparently you can hear the ocean in them, but I can't say I did.'

     Roxas pulled his finger out of the water, losing sensation to the chill.

     'What else?'

     'What else?' Axel nibbled at his lip, leaning back on his hands. 'Lots of sand, obviously. Water. Ugly fuckin' trees. Why the sudden interest? See one in a book or something?'

     Sora's beach had lots of shells and the water stretched as far as the eye could see. Roxas didn't think the trees were ugly, though they were weird looking. They didn't have lots of branches and leaves like the trees Roxas was used to. Easier to sit in, though.

     'Have you ever eaten a coconut?' Roxas asked, ignoring Axel's question.

     'Coconut?' Axel snorted, taken aback, 'Are you reading from a different script to me? Nah, I've not eaten a coconut. I don't eat anything hairier than me, as a general rule. Why, you want one?'

     Roxas thought for a minute, then nodded.

     'I don't think you have to eat the hairs,' he said uncertainly, 'And you can drink it too, I think.'

     'I'm not drinking anything I have to wax first,' Axel laughed, 'But alright, coconuts are on the shopping list, Rox. Consider it done.'

     Roxas smiled. After a beat, Axel smiled back softly.

     'We could do a little beach simulation, if you want?'

     'Sounds dodgy.'

     'Only if you've got a dodgy mind.' Axel tutted. 'Nah, just take your shoes off.'

     Axel was already unbuckling his boots, squirming them off, socks and all. Roxas frowned, but after a minute, he followed suit.

     'Alright, gimme a minute.'

     Axel slowly dipped his bare feet into the water. Even he must have felt the chill, tensing all over. As dark as it was, Roxas could barely see beneath the water's surface, but when Axel took a deep breath, a red glow glistened within the pond's depths.

     'You're kind of like Rudolph,' Roxas said, watching Axel's blazing feet kick back and forth.

     'Beaches, coconuts, Rudolph. You're on fire with the weird tonight, Rox.' Roxas may have taken it as a jibe were it not for Axel's hand coming to rest over his. 'I've never tried the nose. Probably not practical for a job.'

     Roxas turned his hand over so their palms rested together.

     'When is making your feet hot practical?'

     'When your shoes have holes in them and it's raining.'

     Roxas couldn't really argue with that. Damp socks in the middle of a job was one of the most minorly annoying things he'd experienced.

     Steam began to rise from the water's surface. The damp warmth billowed over Roxas' face.

     'Alright, get your feet in. Nice and warm.'

     Roxas rolled the legs of his pants up with his free hand then slowly dipped his toes in. The cold had bitten his finger numb, but the water was warm edging on hot now, making his legs itch as they sank deeper in. He kicked his feet back and forth, swishing the water around, watching the ripples flicker outwards.

     'Rudolph probably couldn't do this,' Roxas said, twiddling his toes. The steam was rising more now, warming the air around them too. The snow at the edges of the pond began to melt.

     'Maybe he kept it a secret,' Axel suggested, 'His nose glowed and he got wrangled into pulling a sled all night long. Imagine the slave labour they'd have him doing if he was a portable sauna too. Cold down that way, y'know.'

     Roxas pictured it, bit back a laugh.

     'What's a sauna?'

     'Err, little room, hot water, lots of steam. Tons of rocks, for some reason.'

     'So is that what beaches are like, then?'

     'Oh yeah, beach simulation. Right.' Axel cleared his throat, pulling Roxas' hand to encourage him to lay flat on his back. He did the same, entwining their fingers. 'Okay. So since you're suddenly obsessed with beaches for some reason --'

     'No reason --'

     ' _Some_ reason, whatever it is. Sorry to break it to you but it's unlikely you'll ever get to one. There was some shit back in the day when Leader had us work at them too, but what with them being, y'know, _beaches,_ they're sunny as fuck. Even at night, it's dangerous for us there. First bit of sun and whoops! Goodbye, us. Plus there tends to be a lot of the enemy there. Obviously bad news. Anyway, Leader decided to call it quits, so you're probably not gonna get to a beach, to be honest.'

     There was a hollow clench in Roxas' stomach that he didn't really understand. Whatever it was, he didn't like it.

     'Anyway, they're not really my thing. I burn hot enough as it is, obviously. But I figured, hey, I can at least give you a sense of what it's like.'

     Roxas wriggled his feet beneath the water. It had gotten even hotter as they spoke. His skin was beginning to tingle, but not unpleasantly.

     'So... hot?'

     'Really hot,' Axel replied, 'Hot and sweaty. About sums it up.'

     Roxas nudged Axel's leg. He could feel how much more intense the heat was around Axel, the red glow brighter as the steam filled the air.

     'I don't mind it,' Roxas said, 'I like the hot.'

     Axel turned his head, hair spread out on the grass beneath him. True to his words, his palm was starting to grow damp against Roxas', his cheeks flushed from the steam.

     He tugged at Roxas' hand, inviting him closer.

     There was no hesitation. Roxas pushed up on his elbow, leaning over. When Axel's free hand cupped the back of his head, he moved forward. Close enough for their breaths to mingle.

     Something knocked into Roxas' foot.

     'What?' Axel asked, the glow in his eyes fading as Roxas pulled away.

     Floating to the surface of the pond were upturned fish. Their marble scales glittered in the dim light of the moon, highlighted by Axel's now dissolving glow. The water had begun to bubble, only stopping when Axel muttered a curse and pulled his feet onto the grass.

     Axel pulled a face.

     'Whoops.'

     'Whoops,' Roxas echoed, wiping his dripping feet on the grass, 'More effective than the net.'

     Before Axel could respond, Roxas leaned over again, pressing his lips to Axel's. A brief moment of stillness, and then Axel's hand was back cupping his head. He moved into the kiss, soft and chaste.

     'Stole my thunder there,' Axel said when they broke apart, not nearly as bold as usual. His hand stayed in Roxas' hair, stroking through the strands slowly.

     'You were taking too long,' Roxas replied with a shrug, and moved in for another kiss.

 

\---

 

Two months after their first kiss, Roxas drifted to sleep in Axel's bed and woke up in an unfamiliar town. He clenched his shadow toes and felt dusty paving stones instead of sand. The sun was low in the pastel sky, the air heavy and warm.

     Sora hopped off the last step, the train station doors slowly sliding shut at the top of the stairs. His shadow stretched as Roxas lingered there, immobile. They were at the top of a high hill, a town unfolding below. It was a place he had never seen before, awake or otherwise.

     _Who's that knockin' at the House of Mou -!_

     The tinny little song was cut off almost as soon as it began. Sora let his duffel bag drop to the floor and pulled out his phone, answering with a cheery, 'You've got Sora!'

     Roxas took the steps hesitantly, the black mass of Sora's shadow becoming more natural looking as it returned to Sora's back. His feet were bare so he could feel the ghost of warmth in the paving stones, though he shouldn't have been able to.

     'Yep, just got here. Already gone nine o'clmack but the sun's still up.' Sora listened to the voice on the other end, humming every now and then. 'Yeah, I know. Where's Cid waiting?'

     Roxas could feel the warmth beneath his toes. It was hard to think of anything but that. He rubbed his foot back and forth across the floor, grit dragging against his sole.

     It wasn't that Roxas was utterly devoid of sensation. If he touched something, he could feel the pressure of it against his fingers. When the wind was strong, he could feel it pushing back his hair and catching in his throat. When Demyx played his sitar in the room below Roxas', he could feel the vibrations in the floor.

     He could _feel_ these things, but it was a distant sort of feeling. As if he was only aware of them because he knew he should be. A self delusion more than reality.

     Roxas didn't know that paving stones grew warm when the sun shone upon them. He only saw the sun when he was in Sora's shadow, and though he had been inhabiting it more often than not whenever he slept, he had never felt that warmth like he was feeling it now.

     How curious.

     'Tram Common?' Sora glanced around with uncertainty, pulling a face. 'I can't see a sign, Yuffie. Or a tram. Can he not just come meet me?'

     Roxas' foot stilled, his head tilted. Yuffie was a new name. He had only ever seen Sora with his beach friends before. Kairi, Riku, Tidus, Wakka and Selphie. He had memorized their names. It was strange to think that Sora had friends Roxas hadn't seen already, but then, it wasn't as though Roxas really knew Sora, even if it felt like he did.

     'Fiiiiine. I'll just wander around this place until I get mugged or kidnapped. Hope Cid enjoys his nap, though. Bye!'

     Sora ended the call with a huff, sliding his phone back into his pocket. There was no one around that he could ask for directions. There was little more choice than to pick up his bag and just start walking.

     Roxas was quick to follow.

     The train station was at the top of a winding slope, shops and houses lining the path down. Despite the late hour, people wandered the streets unhurried and unafraid. By all rights, the town should have been swarmed by Dusks. The low sun cast dark shadows, but Roxas could feel nothing within them. They weren't the same shadows he and the Dusks came from. They were utterly empty.

     If Roxas had the capacity for such things, he may have found that a little frightening.

     'Excuse me!' Sora stopped a passing woman, her bag bulging with envelopes. 'Sorry to bother you. I'm trying to find Tram Common?'

     The woman was quick to smile, pointing to an archway at the bottom of the hill. Sora thanked her and hurried on, but Roxas lingered once more. There were flashing neon lights on the sides of some of the buildings. He'd never seen that sort of thing before in the places he had been. He reached out to touch the lowest sign, hoping to feel the heat he knew should be there.

     A scream.

     A young girl dropped her ball, watching the long, creeping shadow inch closer her way. Roxas startled, pulling his hand back.

     An apology was on the tip of his tongue --

     'Sorry!'

     'You should be.' Axel grunted, then kicked Roxas lightly in the calf. The bedsheets rustled as he rolled over with a drowsy frown. 'Worse than an alarm clock, you.'

     It took a moment for Roxas to find himself. He could still see the bright glow of the setting sun, though the blackout curtains were drawn and the room was in complete darkness. When he closed his eyes, the town was still there, Sora jumping onto the back of a tram. If he could get back to sleep, he could return there. The path was still open to him.

     'Shit, it's almost ten.' The sheets tugged away from Roxas as Axel climbed out of bed. The town began to fade from Roxas' mind, Sora's movements becoming more and more distant. He kept his eyes screwed shut, but with every whisper of movement Axel made, the path between him and Sora closed.

     'You're very loud,' Roxas muttered, throwing an arm across his eyes, 'Bang, bang, bang.'

     He heard Axel snort from the bathroom.

     'Well, excuse me, princess. While we're whining, you should take a look at the bruises on my legs. Dreaming you were chasing rabbits or something? You kept booting me.'

     Roxas moved his arm, looking over at Axel in the bathroom doorway. True enough, there was a mess of dark splotches forming on his legs. He didn't look particularly bothered.

     'Sorry.' Roxas sat up, stretching his neck slowly. 'You did say there'd be growing pains when we started rooming together.'

     Axel rolled his eyes, going back into the bathroom.

     'Yeah, I meant one of us hogging the sheets or leaving our dirty socks lying around. Not literal pain.'

     'I'm worth it.'

     The banter came easily, but Roxas' mind was elsewhere. A place where the sun never set and the shadows held no threat.

 

\---

 

'We're closer to our goal than ever. Soon, we'll begin the trials.'

     Xemnas' voice carried down the long, marble steps to the group at their base. His golden eyes didn't meet theirs, too focused on the swarming mass of darkness above their heads. Faint whispers drifted down, the final thoughts of the Dusks' victims, but Roxas couldn't make out any real words.

     He wondered if the woman's voice was amongst the hum. The one who hadn't cried.

     'Too long have we been forced into the sidelines of life, relegated to shadows and night. _They_ live free, unrestricted, as though they think they deserve it just by right of being what they are. _Human._ '

     Roxas didn't realize he was chewing on his thumb until Axel tapped his hand, frowning. He'd bled himself, a red smudge across his bottom lip. He let his hand drop to his side, giving Axel a brief smile.

     'But their monopoly on freedom is coming to an end.'

     The meeting finished and the group dispersed. Axel and Roxas were paired for the night, as usual, and would be going to a new place, at least for Roxas. Usually that would have excited him, but his thoughts were still scattered from the last dream and Xemnas' words.

     'Anyone home?' Axel's knuckles tapped lightly on Roxas' forehead. 'Chewing on your fingers like a dog with a bone. What's up? I was only kidding about the bruises, y'know.'

     The skin at his nailbeds was frayed on most of his fingers. His thumb was the worst, the nail bitten too low, throbbing dully. He hadn't realized he was doing it.

     'Axel, we're human, aren't we?' Roxas asked, stopping short of the portal to their target town.

     Axel was already half submerged in the shadows. He turned his head so fast, it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash. That same surprised look he got whenever Roxas said something unexpected, then a bark of laughter.

     Roxas didn't find his laugh as nice as he usually did.

     'What's the punchline, Rox?' Roxas's eyes dropped to the floor and Axel's laughter died. 'What, you serious?'

     Roxas didn't understand why his question was funny. He looked like a human. He had all the right parts in all the right places. He ate and drank and slept like humans did. He listened to their music and he watched their films. He laughed and joked and teased, just like Sora did. He felt a worth he couldn't quantify when he made Axel grin.

     So why wasn't he human?

     'Roxas... Where's this coming from?' Axel's fingers found his chin, forcing him to look up. 'Over a year you've been with us now, and you're only just questioning what we are? What's brought this on?'

     Roxas pushed Axel's hand away, taking a step back.

     'And what _are_ we? If not human, what?'

     Axel's arm dropped to his side, fingers curling closed. He looked as lost as Roxas felt.

     'We're... echoes. Someone who shone so bright, they cast the darkest shadow, and... we came to be. That's all.' Something flashed across Axel's eyes that Roxas couldn't identify. 'We play at being human, but that's all it is. We're only pretending.'

     ' _I'm_ not,' Roxas objected, 'I really --'

     Roxas recognized the flash in Axel's eyes this time. Anger.

     'You really _what?_ Enlighten me.'

     Roxas' tattered fingernails dug into his palms. He knew Axel had a temper, had seen it flare with the other Organization members, but never him. Was it really so bad, to _question?_

'I... do all the things humans do. I look like them. I eat and drink and sleep.' The reasoning had sounded so much stronger in his head, but as it became words, it came apart at the seams. He knew, even before Axel opened his mouth, that it was flawed. 'I can laugh and...'

     'You eat, but you don't feel hunger, Roxas. You drink, but if you didn't, nothing would change. You only sleep because you saw me doing it, and I only do it because there's nothing else _to_ do when the sun is up. It's all learned behaviours. Mimicry. A parrot can say words, but it can't hold a conversation.'

     Roxas felt himself becoming blank. Withdrawing within, so he didn't have to think about what Axel was saying. How much of himself was himself? Were his habits his own, or had they come from Sora? From others around him? He laughed and joked and teased, but he hadn't before spending time with Axel. He listened to music, enjoyed it, but only because it drifted up from Demyx's room. Did Sora bite his nails too?

     If Roxas wasn't human, then he was a mirror, reflecting the details of the people around him and taking them as his own. His personality was patchwork, his loose threads pulled by Axel's words.

     'No, no, no, don't shut down on me.' Axel ducked down to try and meet Roxas' vacant eyes, taking him by the shoulders. 'I'm a dick, okay? Ignore me. I'm sorry. You can be human if you want. You're human. You're the best human I know. Rox?'

     Axel's face was wretched, as genuinely remorseful as Roxas had ever seen him. It pulled Roxas back a little. Only a little. Enough to say, 'Alright.'

     Axel straightened up, hands still gripping Roxas' shoulders.

     'You're alright?'

     'I'm alright,' Roxas replied, nodding.

     'And _we're_ alright?'

     'We're alright.' Roxas smiled, the way he usually did. He wondered whose smile it was and how long ago he had taken it from them. 'We should get going.'

     Roxas shrugged out of Axel's hold and stepped into the shadows, pulling his leather coat tighter around him. It was a good minute or so before Axel followed, his steps uncharacteristically hesitant.

 

\---


	2. Chapter Two

The trials began gradually. It happened so slowly, over a number of weeks, that the residents didn't even notice. Night came a little sooner every day. Only a few minutes, nothing that would cause alarm. When the Dusks went out to cull their prey, the streets were still empty, as they would have been if night had fallen naturally.

     It wasn't until night came a full hour early that the world took notice. The one hour warning bells didn't ring until the sky was already black. The days should have been getting longer in Spring, not shorter. The first casualties were reported, people who depended on the bells to signal the end of their work day, the time for them to return home safely.

     The next time Roxas awoke in Sora's shadow, it was to find him cutting down Dusks with a weapon almost identical to Roxas' own.

     'On your right!'

     There were three people on the station plaza, the highest point of the town. Sora was at the heart of the battle, breathing heavily as he knocked away claws. He'd been caught once or twice, a few tears in his clothes, but was otherwise unharmed. If anything, he seemed elated, eyes bright as he fought.

     The others were less enthused.

     A blond man with a cigarette pinched between his teeth spun what looked to be some sort of lance, cutting through a group of Dusks in one go. More took the place of the fallen, giving him no respite.

     'Incoming!' a dark haired woman yelled, tugging on the cuff of her gauntlet. Sora and the blond man jumped into the air as she brought her fist down onto the paving stones. The force rippled outwards, scattering the Dusks back, winning the trio some ground.

     'Some vacation!' Sora laughed. When his keyblade cut through the Dusks, they evaporated into a fading black mist. Though Roxas tried, he could not feel their presence anymore. Just as his keyblade could control the Dusks, Sora's could destroy them. 'Thought Twilight Town was a guaranteed safe zone!'

     The man and woman took longer to dispatch any of the Dusks. Sora was a one hit kill, but their weapons required more to do damage. Their exhaustion was plain to see. The Dusks just kept coming, the perpetual sunset of Twilight Town eclipsed by the Organization's manufactured darkness.

     'Take it up with HR, kid,' the blond man grumbled, spitting out what was left of his cigarette.

     'There's a bin right _there_ ,' the woman sighed.

     'Yeah, Cid. Littering's bad.'

     The man skewered the cigarette end with his lance and flicked it in the direction of the bin. Sora and the woman paused mid-fight to watch it bounce off the rim.

     'So close!'

     'Too bad.'

     'Shut it, both of ya.'

     The wave of Dusks intensified and any conversation died out. Even Sora was beginning to flag, his footwork becoming sloppy, his swings wide.

     Roxas looked up to the sky. He had been getting used to the blend of pinks and yellows of the town's sunset. The unending black that had taken its place was not nearly as beautiful.

     Was that the sky the Organization was working towards? Was that the sky Roxas was helping to create?

     There weren't even any stars.

     Roxas couldn't like stars. Axel was right. Sora must have liked stars in order for Roxas to believe he himself did. Yet even if the feeling wasn't his own, he still felt a writhing discomfort in the pit of his stomach at their absence. It just didn't feel _right._

     Experimentally, Roxas' shadow hand twitched. He found Oblivion was grasped in his fist, in the same position Sora held his keyblade. Yet the black shape upon the floor was subtly different. Sharper edges, longer, the shadow inching further from Sora bit by bit.

     Roxas gripped Oblivion tight and rose his arm. Sora's shadow moved, and the Dusks all looked to him. Cid and the woman were forgotten. The Dusks stilled.

     '...Am I doing that?' Sora took a tentative step back, leaning to the side. 'I don't think I'm doing that.'

     The woman leapt forward, her fist striking one of the motionless Dusks into the ground.

     'Well, whatever you are or aren't doing, keep it up,' she said, and her and Cid continued the assault. Sora seemed too wary to move in case he broke whatever spell had come over the Dusks. He didn't notice that his shadow's arm didn't drop to its side when his did. Even when his keyblade disappeared into nothing, his shadow's didn't.

     Before long, the swarm was gone. Roxas could feel more within the shadows of the plaza, but he kept them contained, refused to give them permission to roam.

     He wasn't sure why. It seemed the human thing to do.

     'Sora?' Cid leaned on his lance, frowning their way.

     Roxas let his arm drop. The Dusks had been given the order to _stay,_ so even without the keyblade holding them back, they wouldn't be able to move. Twilight Town was safe, even if the sky was black.

     'Sora?' The woman pulled off her gloves, striding over. 'You okay?'

     'I'm fi --' Roxas wobbled as Sora's knees buckled beneath him. His eyes fell shut before he even hit the floor, and Roxas found himself back in his room, staring up at the ceiling. Twilight Town didn't fade so much as it flickered out of his mind.

     For a moment, he could still hear their voices, as Sora could.

     'This is why he needed a break!'

     'He'll be fine.'

     'It can't happen again, can it?'

     'Of course not! You can only make _one_ o' those things...'

 

\---

 

The next morning, Roxas returned to his room intent on slipping back inside Sora's shadow. The way he had keeled over the day before had nagged at Roxas. Sora's passing out had thrown Roxas back into his own body, though it wasn't nearly as long as he usually slept for.

     Could Roxas only inhabit Sora's shadow when Sora was awake and he was sleeping? Did that mean Sora could do the same when Roxas was awake? If nothing else, Roxas had confirmed a lingering suspicion that Sora was one of the Organization's enemies. It would be bad if he _could_ slip into Roxas' shadow and see what they were up to.

     _Or was it?_

     It was a thought that kept returning, one he tried not to entertain. The Organization's plan was still in its trial stages. It was as fragile as it could possibly be. If the opposition, those knowledgeable about and capable of fighting the Dusks, discovered what the Organization were doing, they could stop them. At least, they could stop them _now_ , at their current stage.

     Would that truly be such a bad thing?

     Roxas shrugged out of his coat, hanging it over the back of a chair. He was about to throw himself onto the bed when he stopped short.

     Resting on top of his unmade sheets was a large seashell and a coconut. The shell was marbled white and pink, spiralling in on itself, smooth to the touch. The coconut had a red and blue striped straw jammed into one of its holes. There was no note, but there didn't need to be.

     'If you hold it up to your ear,' Axel said from the door, 'It'll tell you something.'

     Roxas picked up the coconut, pressing it to his ear.

     'I think it might be shy.'

     Axel tried not to smile, but the way his lips pressed together gave him away. Roxas picked up the shell. There really was a noise there, though not a voice. It sounded like the wind before a storm, whispering past his ears.

     _'He's really sorryyyyyy,'_ Axel muttered, not particularly quiet, behind his hand, _'He was in a bad mooooood. Kick hiiiiiim.'_

     'Am I listening to the ocean,' Roxas asked, 'Or a ghost? Because it's talking like a ghost. A b-movie one, at that.'

     'It's the ghost of week old regrets.'

     Roxas put down the shell and coconut, though he did eye the straw thoughtfully, before walking over to Axel. For all his bluster, Axel couldn't seem to decide how to stand, whether to slouch against the doorframe or not, whether to smile or be serious, whether or not he wanted to look Roxas in the eye.

     It was that last one more than anything that led Roxas to drive his boot into Axel's shin.

     'Ow! Fuck, Rox.'

     'The ghost told me to.' Roxas smiled, butter wouldn't melt. 'What were you in a bad mood for?'

     Axel hopped over to the bed, rubbing his knee.

     'I don't know. Just was. Leader was rambling on, and... ahhhh, I don't know. Guess I've just been in a bit of a weird way lately.' Axel scratched the back of his neck, shrugging. 'No excuse for taking it out on you, though. Even if we disagree on that stuff, there was no need for me to be so... nasty about it.'

     'Maybe you're right, I don't know --'

     'And maybe _you're_ right.' Roxas came to sit next to Axel, shoulder to shoulder. 'It'd be much nicer if you were right. A bit of optimism never hurt anyone, eh?'

     'Not that the optimists have let on,' Roxas replied, picking up the shell again. He wondered if it was the same one Axel had picked up, back when he'd been able to go to a beach. 'Though they wouldn't be the sort to complain, I'd imagine.'

     'Nah. They leave that to us grumps. And don't we do it well.'

     Axel lay back on the bed, picking up the coconut. He sucked at the straw.

     'How is it?'

     'Not half bad.' He held it up for Roxas to try. 'Better than it looks, anyway.'

     Roxas took a sip too. It barely touched his tongue before he cringed, choking it down with a cough. Whatever was in the coconut, it wasn't milk, and it was definitely past its expiration date.

     Roxas threw the shell at Axel, but he only laughed, catching it easily.

     'Your apologies suck!' Roxas strode over to his bathroom, bending down to drink from the tap. It took far longer than it should have to rinse the taste out of his mouth, Axel sniggering all the while. 'I hate you.'

     'Worth it.' Axel tossed the shell into the air, catching it as it fell. 'Love you too, Rox.'

 

\---

 

Roxas drifted off, and when he awoke, it was in an unfamiliar bedroom. A nice bedroom. Bright colours and weird furniture. The desk chair's back was shaped like a star. The clock was shaped like an owl. The lamp had fish swimming around its light.

     Roxas reached out to touch one of the fish, unsure how it was connected to the rest, then froze.

     His hand was real. It wasn't a shadow hand. Its nails were blunt, the skin frayed around the nailbeds. It was _his_ hand.

     He looked around wildly, too much to take in.

     He was in the room. All of him. Full bodied, his own clothes, not attached to Sora at all. Sora was asleep in the bed, casting no shadow. Outside, the sky was black, though it was day.

     Roxas took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but he had manifested fully, either free of Sora's shadow or taking over it completely.

     He walked backwards slowly, eyes on Sora the whole time, until his back hit the far wall.

     Sora didn't stir. Roxas didn't flicker or fade or anything. Even further from Sora, he was still... _whole._

     Roxas ran out of the bedroom, heart soaring. There were so many places he had seen in Twilight Town that Sora never explored. Back alleys and alcoves and shops. Where did the train go? What was it like to ride the tram? What did all those posters say on the walls of Tram Common?

     Roxas could see them now. He could climb onto the tram and read them all. _Him,_ not Sora, not anyone else.

     The streets were empty. Though no Dusks roamed, the townspeople had learned their lesson from day before. Windows were locked, curtains were drawn, shop shutters were pulled down. It was impossibly quiet, just Roxas and the tap of his shoes on the ground, wandering down Market Street.

     ' _Help wanted..._ ' Roxas scanned the notice board, hands in his pockets. That woman Sora had asked for directions, the one with the bag bulging full of letters, one of the ads was definitely from her.

     Roxas had never received a letter. Maybe he would try writing one when he woke up. He wasn't sure who to, though. Axel would probably find it a bit silly, sending letters when they could just talk face to face.

     Leaving the sign, Roxas walked down one of the side paths he had seen. He'd never been down this way with Sora. There were some more posters pasted on the walls. _STRUGGLE!_ An oddly shaped bat was held aloft, proclaiming ' _fight!_ '

     'A game?' Roxas had never really played games, either. 'Cool.'

     'Oi!' The hand came out of thin air, grabbing Roxas by the collar of his shirt. He instinctively moved his hand to summon Oblivion, but managed to stop himself. 'You got a death wish?!'

     The boy had wild blond hair and honey eyes, dressed for the sun he had always known. In his hand was one of those strange bats from the Struggle poster, the other fisted in the back of Roxas' shirt. Despite his aggressive tone, the bat wasn't directed at Roxas. The boy looked about himself anxiously, bad at the ready.

     'No?' Roxas wriggled free, straightening his shirt. 'What are you doing outside?'

     The boy looked at him in disbelief.

     ' _You're_ asking _me_ that? I saw you from my window, prancing around like an idiot! You do realize there are monsters out here, right?'

     Roxas gave a pointed look to the empty street.

     'They must be shy,' he said, 'But you should go back inside. Just in case.'

     The boy blinked, clearly trying to summon some patience. When he next spoke, it was in a painfully slow way, the way one would talk to a child.

     'Yes. I should. _And so should you._ ' The boy blinked again. 'Hold up. Who are you, anyway? I recognize everyone in this town, but you're a new face.'

     Roxas hummed thoughtfully. Should he give a pseudonym? There wasn't any reason to tell the boy his name, but there also wasn't any reason _not_ to.

     'I'm Roxas.'

     The boy pulled a face.

     'That long a pause and _Roxas_ is the best you could come up with? Alright, Rucksack. And who are you, apart from your name? Look a little young to be a drifter. Count yourself lucky it was me who found you and not Almasy. His lot don't take kindly to outsiders.'

     'If you're the friendly one, then I definitely wouldn't want to run into Almasy.' Roxas shifted uncomfortably, noticing that the bat was pointed more in his direction now. On a whim, he asked, 'Do you know Sora?'

     The change was instant. Bat lowered, scowl dropped, posture less intimidating. The boy beamed.

     'Shit, you're one of _those_ guys? I've seen them around but I've not spoken to one of them before.' The boy suddenly leaned in close, only inches from Roxas' face. He moved back instinctively. 'Now that you mention it, I do see the resemblance. You guys brothers?'

     Roxas hesitated only briefly.

     'Sure.'

     The boy laughed, clapping his hands together around the bat.

     'Aw, man, sorry for the attitude. What with all this weird stuff going on the past couple of days, everyone's on edge, and seeing some random guy wandering the streets... No hard feelings, yeah?' The boy held out a hand to Roxas. 'I'm Hayner.'

     This time, Roxas didn't hesitate at all.

     'Hi, Hayner,' he said, shaking his hand, 'So what's this Struggle thing?'

 

\---

 

Hayner wasn't at all similar to Sora or Axel. Roxas' social circle was admittedly more of a triangle, with one point not knowing Roxas existed, so his frame of reference was desperately slim. But it was all he had to compare to.

     Hayner was funny. Not in the same way Axel was, who was often mean in his wit, and not in the same way as Sora, who was goofy and happy to be the butt of the joke. Hayner told jokes like he thought Roxas already knew the punchline, dissolving into snickering long before he could finish.

     Hayner was friendly in an awkward sort of way. Axel had been distant back when Roxas first joined the Organization, but the ice had quickly melted, and then he had treated Roxas as though they had known each other forever. Sora, Roxas couldn't speak for, though he imagined Sora was a friend to all until proven otherwise. Whereas Hayner was eager and embarrassed by turns. He would throw an arm around Roxas' shoulders without thinking, then apologize. Roxas wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. Sora put his arm around his friends all the time.

     Hayner was good at games, and good at teaching them. Roxas didn't know whether Axel was, they had never played anything together, and he couldn't picture Axel spending an afternoon in front of a darts board. Sora was definitely good at games, or liked them at least. Roxas could picture Sora and Hayner playing together in the little alcove Hayner called _the usual spot._

     'You don't have to keep your arm so straight, that's why you keep hitting the sides.'

     Hayner was perched atop some sort of water tank, ignoring the empty couch only a few steps away. He'd traded his struggle bat for some darts, balancing the flight of one on the tip of his finger.

     'Like this?' Roxas asked, bending his elbow bit by bit until Hayner nodded. Then he let the dart fly, succeeding in hitting the board this time.

     'See, you're a natural. Now let the master show you how it's done.'

     He hopped off the water tank, taking his place at the chalk-drawn line on the floor. He held the darts much more loosely than Roxas did, and all three hit the triple twenty in quick succession.

     'Nice.'

     'Thanks.' Hayner grinned. 'So where have you been hiding, anyway? We've all met Cid at some point or another, and Tifa comes and goes pretty often. Practically everyone's bumped into Sora at this point. Especially after the sky went dark, you guys are kind of like celebrities around here. Did you only just get into town?'

     'I got here today.' It wasn't technically a lie, though it was silly to be getting hesitant about lying now. Roxas had already lied about being Sora's brother. Still, he didn't particularly want to lie to Hayner. He liked him, and darts was fun. 'You all don't need to worry anymore. The Dusks won't come here again.'

     'Wish I could believe that, man,' Hayner sighed, tugging the darts out of the board, 'It's never happened here before. The sun doesn't go down in Twilight Town, everyone knows that. Then the next thing we know, the sun's gone, and these monsters we've only ever heard about or seen on TV are at our doors. I didn't know many of the people who died personally, but still...'

     Roxas suddenly found his hands very interesting, sitting down on the couch.

     'I'm sorry people died.' A part of him wanted to ask if they had cried or not, but he had the presence of mind to know that wasn't appropriate.

     'Shit, man, sorry. I'm not putting it on you guys. We were lucky you acted as fast as you did. Christ knows the casualties could've been worse.' Hayner came to sit next to Roxas, patting him on the shoulder. 'Can't imagine it's an easy job, fighting those things.'

     Roxas wouldn't know. It was easy to control them, that much he knew. They obeyed the call of Oblivion in a way the rest of the Organization's members couldn't emulate, despite trying. What would Xemnas say when he found out Twilight Town's invasion had been halted? There was only one person who could have done it.

     'Cheer up man!' Hayner misinterpreted Roxas' silence, squeezing his shoulder. 'It's not the end of the world -- yet, anyway. And if you say those things aren't going to attack here again, I'll believe you, so long as you come save my ass first if you're proven wrong.'

     'I'll do my best to save the rest of you as well,' Roxas replied, a begrudging smile pulling at his lips.

     'I'd appreciated that. Hey, what time is it?' Though he asked Roxas, Hayner checked his own watch. 'If things were normal, we'd be eating some ice cream right about now. Fancy some?'

     Roxas wondered at the _we._

     'Aren't the shops closed?'

     'We have a stash. Shh, don't tell anyone.'

     Hayner hopped up off the couch and went over to the far side of the room. Behind a low hanging curtain was a cooler. An assortment of cans and snacks were piled inside, teeth-rotting just to look at. He pulled out two things with blue wrappers and tossed Roxas one.

     'People aren't as keen on this flavour, so we get 'em nice and cheap.'

     Roxas tore off the wrapper to find that the ice cream inside was equally as blue. He took a tentative bite, letting it dissolve on his tongue.

     'It's... salty,' was his verdict.

     'It grows on you.' Hayner smiled, sitting back on the water tank. 'You're probably pretty busy with saving the world and all, but whenever you've got free time, swing by here. Pence and Olette'd love to meet you. Pence is crazy about you guys.'

     Roxas wasn't sure he'd ever manifest again after he woke up, and he didn't much like the thought of making a promise he couldn't keep, yet he still found himself nodding.

     'Yeah, I'd love to meet your friends.'

 

\---

 

Sora slept for a month, and for that month, Roxas discovered what it was like to live as a human.

     At night, he continued his work as the thirteenth member of the Organization. He received his orders through Saïx, travelled to the designated towns, and unleashed the Dusks upon the citizens. With night lasting longer and longer, Roxas' job became much easier. He simply watched as the Dusks attacked.

     Day was his refuge. He slept as soon as he could, for as long as he could. Every time, he woke up in Sora's bedroom, fully manifested. He fled the house before anyone could find him and ran to the Usual Spot.

     They were always there, waiting for him. Hayner, Pence and Olette.

     Pence was warm and ever curious. The second Hayner had introduced him, Pence had begged to see Roxas' keyblade. It was true he was, as Hayner phrased it, 'a groupie for you lot.' But when Roxas had hesitated to summon Oblivion, Pence had been quick to apologize. Roxas wasn't sure what he was apologizing for, but he appreciated the sentiment.

     Olette was friendly and easy-going. As soon as Hayner called Roxas his friend, it seemed like Olette considered him a friend too. There was no tentativeness or easing in. She just treated him as though he had always been a part of their group, and Roxas liked her for that.

     Most days they just stayed in the Usual Spot. The people of Twilight Town became more confident in leaving their homes, but the streets were still mostly empty. Though Roxas assured them the Dusks wouldn't come again, the trio still felt safer staying indoors.

     Even that was fun. Just sitting around talking, or playing games, or even helping each other with their homework. They were the sort of days Roxas would have thought boring in theory, but actually living them, doing those things and being with those people. Roxas didn't want to wake up.

     Unfortunately, Sora did.

     At first, Roxas didn't notice anything amiss. A month of waking in that bedroom and leaving as fast as he could meant that he didn't even think to look over at Sora. If he had, he'd have found an empty bed.

     Roxas made for the bedroom door and felt the press of Sora's keyblade at his throat.

     'Sit down.'

     There was no smile, no warmth in his voice, and no mercy when Roxas didn't immediately comply. The keyblade smashed into the side of Roxas' face, sending him to the floor. He could feel the skin of his cheek part, the trickle of blood, but for the first time, he also felt the pain.

     Roxas' breath left him in a panicked wheeze.

     It hurt.

     It _hurt._

     Nothing had ever hurt before.

     'Sit down and _stay_ there.' Sora paced in front of the closed door, knuckles white around the handle of the keyblade. He was still in the same bedclothes, his hair all mussed. He must have only just woken. 'I saw you. I could see you the whole time. What were you _doing?_ Just... hanging out with those three. Why? What do you want with them?'

     The entire left side of Roxas' face felt as though it was on fire. Or at least, how Roxas imagined that would have felt. His skin throbbed hot, blood soaking into his collar. He had never bled before.

     'How are you even doing this?' Sora was just as panicked as Roxas. His breaths were coming too fast, faster than even his words. He held the keyblade less like a weapon and more like a shield, his only defence against whatever threat he thought Roxas posed. 'I know what you are. You shouldn't be able to do this. I don't understand.'

     Roxas sat up, hand coming to rest over his torn cheek. The blood was slick between his fingers, the skin just as heated to the touch as it had felt.

     'I don't understand either,' he said, lost, 'What am I?'

     Sora stopped pacing and lowered the keyblade. Roxas couldn't identify the expression on his face. He wasn't sure he wanted to.

     For the first time in a month, Roxas wanted desperately to wake up.

     'You're...' The words wouldn't come. Sora had never seemed short of words in all the times Roxas had been his shadow, but he was then. The keyblade disappeared from his hand. 'What do you think you are?'

     _An echo of you._ The thought was spoken with Axel's voice. _Just an echo, nothing more._ But Roxas couldn't bring himself to say that. He didn't want to make it real.

     'I'm... Roxas.'

     Sora stared down at him, fingers clenching and unclenching where his keyblade had been.

     'You're Roxas,' he echoed, more to himself than anything, 'Your name is Roxas.'

     Roxas didn't know what else to say, so he stayed quiet, letting Sora process what was happening. He kept his hand pressed over the gash on his face, wondering when it would stop hurting. Did humans always feel pain for this long? Was this the sort of pain humans felt when the Dusks claimed them?

     No wonder they cried.

     'Here.' Roxas jolted, lost in his thoughts. A roll of toilet paper dangled in front of his face, Sora eyeing the cut with a frown. When Roxas took the roll from him, Sora walked over to sit down on the bed. 'Sorry, I guess. Kind of. I don't know yet.'

     '...Thanks.'

     Roxas wiped the blood from his hand and face, probing gingerly at the cut. He kept his eyes on Sora, and Sora did the same. Neither of them quite knew what to make of the other. It was a confused sort of stalemate.

     'Roxas, what were you doing with those kids? I kept waiting for you to... do _something_ but you never did. I don't get it. What are you after? What do you want?'

     What did he want? Roxas had never thought about that. He wasn't doing any of it with an end result in mind. Not consciously, at least.

     'I... want to be like them.' Roxas let himself think out loud, as unaware of the truth as Sora. 'I want to do the things they do. I want to go to your beach. I want...'

     Sora's hands were fisted in the bed sheets.

     'You want to be human,' he told Roxas, and Roxas realized that was what he had been trying to put into words. He wanted to be like Hayner, Pence and Olette _because_ they were human. When he was with them, he could let himself believe he was too.

     But he wasn't.

     'You shouldn't be able to do this, you know. To _be_ here. I knew I'd...' Sora ran a hand through his hair, leaving it even messier than before. 'Coz I've got the keyblade, I'm kind of the go-to guy to fight the Dusks. Especially when I first became able to summon it, I went a little over the top. I wanted to save _everyone_ , y'know? I didn't know then that the keyblade takes its power from me as much as I get power from it. So when I overused it, it took so much from me that...'

     Roxas looked up.

     'That I was created?'

     Sora nodded, an almost apologetic look on his face.

     'They all warned me not to overdo it, but I got all these big ideas in my head about what a hero I was and that I had to do it all myself. I didn't think about the consequences of that. Next thing I know, I wake up and they tell me I've been asleep for a whole year. I'd just keeled over one day and bam, a whole year _gone._ If I wasn't a keyblade wielder, they reckon I might've turned into a Dusk myself.'

     'No, that's... That's not how Dusks work,' Roxas said, pressing a square of tissue to his cheek and letting the blood hold it there. 'Dusks are made when someone with a lot of darkness in them is killed by a Dusk. You can't just turn into one. I don't think so, anyway.'

     'Really?! Coz that's been, like, my biggest worry since waking up!' Sora exhaled loudly, letting himself fall back onto the bed limply. 'The amount of sleep I've lost over that. I could kill Riku, telling me that.'

     When Sora didn't say anything else, Roxas fell silent too. The bleeding had more or less stopped, but it still hurt. It probably wasn't even a bad hurt, by human's standards, but for someone who had never felt pain before, it wiped his mind blank. He could feel every heated sting, the pulsating throb, uncomfortably aware of the split skin pulling when his mouth moved.

     'Sora, do you bite your nails?'

     Sora pushed himself up on his elbows, frowning.

     'Nah, don't think so. See?' He held out one of his hands for Roxas to look at. The nails were unmaintained, but they were also unbitten. A little too long, if anything. Roxas held out his own hand, showing his stunted nails. Sora pulled a face. 'I hear putting vinegar on your fingers can stop you doing that.'

     'Vinegar?'

     'Yeah. Something about the taste making you aware you're doing it. I don't know if it really works, though.'

     Roxas nodded, then asked another question.

     'Do you like stars?'

     'Of course I do. Who doesn't like stars?' Sora glanced out of the window. 'Not that you can see any around here anymore...'

     'I like stars too,' Roxas replied, 'And I don't think it's just because you like them, because you _don't_ bite your nails, but I do.'

     It came out more than a little desperate. A plea for validation from the one person who could give it, though he had no reason to do so. Sora stared at Roxas thoughtfully for a minute.

     'That night on the plaza, before I passed out, that was you who made the Dusks stop, wasn't it?' he asked, moving off the bed to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of Roxas. He reached out to take the tissue off of Roxas' face, eyeing the cut with a wince. 'You made them stop attacking us. I don't know how, but... why?'

     It took all of his self-control not to cringe away from Sora. It wasn't that he expected another hit, but rather, Sora was something of a fiction to Roxas. He _knew_ Sora was real, otherwise Roxas wouldn't exist at all, but they had never existed in the same world before. Sora was of the day, and Roxas was supposed to be restrained to night. To have him sitting there, able to touch him, actually talking to him, it was overwhelming.

     'I don't really know why I did it.'

     'You know what I find really interesting?' Sora waited for Roxas to nod, then continued, 'You've been manifesting for longer than I was aware of it, right? All this time, you've known where not just me, but a number of us were located, and you didn't tell your leader. You could've caught us unaware and gotten rid of at least three enemies, but instead, you stopped the Dusks from attacking Twilight Town.'

     It had never even occurred to Roxas to tell anyone. The thought didn't enter his mind of betraying Sora -- and what a strange way to consider that scenario, as _betrayal,_ as though Roxas was in any way indebted to Sora. Yet it was the only word he could think of. It was one thing to use Sora as a proxy to experience life in the sunlight, but it was altogether different to use that ability to bring about his downfall.

     Roxas liked Sora. From that first time he had awoken in Sora's shadow in the palm tree, he had liked him and been jealous of him in equal measure. Even if they were enemies, he didn't want Sora to die.

     But he didn't say that. Even as the realization took root in his mind, Roxas couldn't bring himself to put it into words.

     'I hate carrots,' Sora stated when the silence drew on, 'Mum puts them in everything, thinking I won't notice, but I do. It's the way they _crunch._ Goes right through me! Do you like carrots?'

     Roxas looked back up at him, confused.

     'I... don't really mind either way?'

     'What's your favourite food?'

     Roxas thought about it, then said, 'I like the sea-salt ice cream here.'

     'Really? That stuff?' Sora stuck out his tongue. 'Ick. Mint choc chip all the way.'

     'I've never had that one.'

     'You haven't _lived_ , man. It's beautiful. Better than that sea-salt stuff. Who thought putting salt in ice cream was a good idea?'

     Roxas bit his lip tentatively before saying, 'Probably related to the person who thought putting mint in anything but toothpaste was a good idea.'

     Sora grinned and Roxas' heart soared. He made Axel smile a lot, and he could even make Hayner, Pence and Olette smile, but Sora seemed like a victory, for some reason. It was a far cry from being hit in the face with a keyblade.

     'I... don't really know _why_ I stopped the Dusks. You all seemed tired, and it's partly my fault that they were attacking Twilight Town at all, so it seemed the right thing to do,' Roxas found himself saying, the tension in his shoulders easing.

     'How is it your fault they were attacking?' Sora asked, nothing accusatory about the question. Now that he had Roxas at ease, he seemed eager to keep him there.

     'Well, it's my keyblade that made it possible for the Organization to make the sky black. When the Dusks I control kill people, Oblivion takes the darkness that was within them, and makes it real. I never really understood what that meant until the trails began.'

     'So that's what happened.' Sora stared out of the window again, the sky impossibly dark, not a star to be seen. 'And if the sky is always black, day will never come. That's what your Organization wants, right?'

     Roxas shrugged, uncomfortable again.

     'Leader says that we shouldn't be forced into the edges of life. It's not our fault we can't exist in the sun. He says we deserve to be as free as you are. But he also blames you guys for us being the way we are, and I'm not sure I agree with that.'

     'You don't?' Sora's smile was tinged with pity. 'I think, if I were you, I'd blame me an awful lot.'

     Roxas met his eyes.

     'I don't think I'm something that anyone needs to be blamed for.'

     Sora looked taken aback, from the force in Roxas' voice if nothing else. Before he could respond, there was a faint noise from beyond the bedroom door. They both looked that way, the noise growing louder. Footsteps up the stairs.

     'Damn! Quick, hide! Under the bed!'

     Roxas let himself be steered towards the low bed. It was a tight squeeze, but he managed to get beneath. Sora pulled the bedsheets over the edge of the mattress to better hide him just as the door opened.

     'You might be right about me being a lazybum, huh?' Sora greeted whoever had come through the door. There was no response except the clatter of something dropping to the floor. Roxas couldn't see, but he had a feeling the person had rushed forward to hug him. Maybe it was one of those two who had been fighting with Sora on the plaza.

     --- _Roxas?_

     Confined in the narrow space between the bed and the floor, Roxas felt a hand gripping his chin. Phantom fingers holding his face tight, tight enough to hurt a little.

     -- _Rox?!_

     That voice overrode Sora's and whoever had come into the bedroom. The hand left his face and he found himself being roughly shook, the soft pressure of a mattress beneath him, Axel looming above him.

     Sora's bedroom disappeared and Roxas woke up.

 

\---


	3. Chapter Three

It took almost half an hour for Axel to find anything remotely resembling a first aid kit. The Organization members hardly had need for such a thing. Vexen's room was a treasure trove for miscellanea, though, and Axel eventually returned with cotton swabs and plasters.

     'What even _happened?_ ' It was all Axel would ask. Roxas saw him searching their room for something, anything that could have caused the gash, but there was nothing.

     'I don't know,' Roxas replied, and said no more.

     It wasn't altogether unpleasant, being tended to. Not that it was gentle tending. Axel was as clueless about treating wounds as Roxas was, and more than once he pushed too hard with the cotton swabs, catching the raised edges of the cut. It didn't hurt anymore. Even when Axel accidentally put the sticky part of the plaster over the cut then pulled it off to reapply it more neatly, Roxas didn't feel a thing.

     He was more disappointed than relieved.

     'Christ almighty, I would _not_ have made a good nurse,' Axel muttered, leaning back to assess his handiwork. He smoothed the edge of one of the plasters down with his thumb. 'Good luck explaining this to any of the others.'

     Roxas went into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Five small plasters were placed randomly over the long, narrow cut. The skin around the cut was a mottled mess of purple and black. He almost didn't recognize himself. His face had never been different before.

     'There's blood on the pillowcase.' Roxas jumped, not realizing Axel had followed him to the bathroom. 'I didn't even know we could bleed.'

     'Me either. You okay?'

     Axel was more pale than usual. There was blood on his fingers, a smudge on his forehead, stark against his blanched skin. When Roxas held out his hand, there was a long pause before Axel responded.

     'M'fine. You're the one who's all...' He took Roxas' hand, waving the other vaguely. His fingers were cold. 'I wasn't joking. You can't let the others see you like this. You shouldn't be able to bleed, Rox. Does it hurt?'

     Focus skittering to and fro, but always returning to his busted cheek. Hand clamping down tight, then almost letting go. Voice highly strung. Axel wasn't alright at all. Why? He wasn't the one who had been hurt.

     Roxas leaned back against the sink, pushing himself up to sit on the rim. His legs spread wide, he pulled Axel against his chest, arms wrapping around his shoulders. Another long pause, then Axel's hands came to rest on his waist.

     'You've been sleeping all the time,' Axel muttered, face pressed into Roxas' shoulder, 'You don't _need_ to sleep. You're sleeping more than you're awake. I barely see you anymore.'

     Roxas ran his fingers through Axel's hair, glad he couldn't see his face. It was the question he'd been dreading, one he could only answer with lies. Maybe he would have told Axel the truth about it once, but after Axel had been so adamant about their inhumanity, he couldn't bring himself to admit the truth.

     _You're sleeping more than you're awake._ But he was living a more real life in his dreams, even if it was a reality that didn't involve Axel. Try as he might, he couldn't see Axel in Twilight Town, and wasn't sure he wanted to. Where Roxas saw his friends, Axel would only see prey.

     'I... am tired,' Roxas said slowly, resting the unharmed side of his face against the top of Axel's head, 'Maybe not the human kind of tired, but whatever our equivalent of that is. The keyblade... it takes as much power from me as I take from it. With the trials under way and Leader sending me on so many more jobs, I actually am tired. It didn't occur to me that you'd worry --'

     'Of course I'd worry. I worry about you all the time.'

     Roxas' hand stilled in Axel's hair.

     'What do you mean?'

     'What do you mean, what do I mean? You're weird, Rox. Don't get me wrong, that's what I love about you, but it worries me all the same. You're so interested in _their_ world. If Leader found out about your fascination with them, you don't think it'd end well, do you? And the amount of times I've seen you almost let humans go, never mind the times I've probably not seen.'

     'I don't let them go,' Roxas objected, sitting up straight. Axel straightened up too, though he stayed within the circle of Roxas' arms.

     'No, but you _think_ about it. I can see the cogs whirring sometimes. What if one day it's someone but _me_ who notices? You may get leniency because you're the keyblade wielder, but there'd still be a price to pay.'

     Axel's nails were digging into his hips even through the fabric of his shirt. It didn't hurt, but Roxas thought it would have done if he were in Twilight Town.

     Roxas lowered his arms until he was holding Axel's hands.

     'Alright, so I hesitate. I don't share Leader's hatred for them. But I still do my job. I won't jeopardize the Organization's mission --'

     'That's not what I'm saying, Rox.' Axel shook his head, disconsolate. 'I don't care about the mission. Taking away day won't give us whatever crucial thing we're missing. Screw the mission. I just don't want them to think you're a traitor, Rox.'

     But he was. Sora was right. Knowing where the Organization's enemies were located and not reporting it was a betrayal. Stopping the Dusks from culling Twilight Town was a betrayal.

     Roxas was a traitor, and not just to the Organization. He was lying to Hayner, Pence and Olette about who he was. He was lying to Axel about _everything._ Almost everything he had said in just the last half hour had been a lie.

     'And now you're sleeping all the time and we haven't spoken properly in _days_ and your face is all messed up, and I just don't understand what's going on. Was it what I said back then? Are you still mad? I'm sorry, I really am --'

     Whatever else Axel had to say was cut off as Roxas' lips met his. It wasn't a very gentle kiss on either end. Roxas was desperate to make him stop talking, and Axel seemed to mirror that desperation.

     Axel's hands came up to cup Roxas' face. All Roxas could think about was his blood still staining Axel's fingers. He pressed closer to Axel, sharing his breaths, and wondered how he hadn't realized so long had passed since their last kiss. They still shared a room, but Roxas slept the time they had together away. When had they last talked? _Really_ talked?

     Everything Roxas wanted to tell him about, he couldn't. The sea salt ice cream, games of darts and Struggle, what it was like to ride the tram and the train, the seven wonders Hayner had told Roxas about. Roxas wanted to share those things with Axel, but how could he?

     When Axel rejected what humanity they had, how could Roxas admit his love for the human world?

 

\---

 

'Lookin' glum, chum.'

     Sora's second greeting was vastly improved from the first, if only for the lack of grievous bodily harm. He smiled as Roxas opened his eyes, back in the Twilight Town bedroom they had come to know so well.

     'I didn't realize I was hurting him,' Roxas said, then as an afterthought, 'Hello.'

     'Hello. Hurting who?' Sora patted the bed, inviting Roxas to sit beside him. When he did, Sora poked at the mess of plasters, winced to see the ugly bruise. 'Again, really sorry about that.'

     'You should be, it really hurts.'

     'You don't sound too upset about that.'

     'It didn't hurt when I woke up, but now it does again. I think I'm more real when I'm here.' Roxas sighed, shaking his head. 'But thinking like that's exactly the problem.'

     It was easy to talk to Sora, easier than it should have been. It wasn't because Sora was the one who created him. Sora was just that type of person. Words flowed without the person realizing Sora was the one coaxing them out. Words about who Axel was and the wrong Roxas had done him but also the wrong Axel had done Roxas too. Their entire history, their growing feelings, and Roxas' guilt.

     Sora listened silently, nodding at all the right times, face a portrait of understanding. When Roxas finished, he gave his shoulder a squeeze.

     'Sounds to me like you two need couple's counselling.' He grinned when that got a soft laugh from Roxas. 'I never realized you guys had relationships. Like, not just romantic, but I guess you have friendships too, huh?'

     'Of course we do.'

     Sora's smile grew sombre.

     'I guess it was easier to think of you guys as the same as the Dusks. Easier to fight if we simplify your existence, y'know?'

     'It was easier to let the Dusks kill humans before I really knew any. Now whenever I do a job, I think about Hayner, Pence and Olette. And you.' Roxas hung his head. 'I don't know if I can keep...'

     There was a knock at the door. Roxas tensed all over, but Sora just squeezed his shoulder again, then shouted, 'Not now!'

     A pause, and then another knock.

     'Okay, hold on! Look, just... don't freak out, okay?' It took a moment for Roxas to realize Sora was addressing _him,_ not the person on the other side of the door. 'I was gonna run it by you, but then you looked all sad and time just got away from me. She's super nice, she won't hurt you, so... try and stay calm, yeah?'

     '...What are you talking about?' As Sora walked over to the door, Roxas stood up, a nauseas twist in his stomach. He considered summoning Oblivion. 'Sora, who is that?'

     _All this time, you've known where we were. You could have told your Leader and gotten rid of three enemies._

     What if Sora had taken his own advice?

     'He's kinda antsy, so...' Sora whispered, not very quietly, and opened the door. There stood a girl their age, with chalky red hair and soft blue eyes. The girl from the beach.

     'Kairi,' Roxas murmured.

     She blinked, surprised, then smiled. She had a toothy smile, like Sora did, but unlike him, she had deep dimples that pinched her cheeks.

     'Does my reputation precede me? Have you been gossiping?' Her voice was different in person, somehow. From Sora's shadow, she had always sounded very far away.

     'Oh yeah, singing your praises.' Sora rolled his eyes, sitting back down on the bed. Kairi closed the bedroom door behind her, leaning against it.

     'Hello, Roxas. It's nice to meet you.'

     'Hello, Kairi.' Roxas looked between the two of them, the tension draining away. 'Is she here to kill me?'

     'Wha -!'

     Sora burst into laughter, worsened by Kairi's indignation.

     'Of course I'm not! I'm not even armed.' She spread her arms to show her lack of weapons. 'I see what you mean, he _is_ antsy.'

     'Romance troubles. Hormones. Existential angst,' Sora said with an understanding nod, 'I'd be paranoid too.'

     'Are we still talking about me?' Roxas asked, only half in jest. He wasn't entirely sure what _existential_ meant. He'd have to ask Axel later.

     'Ignore him.' Kairi nodded to Sora, unimpressed. 'More than half of everything he says is nonsense, so don't take him too seriously.'

     'But that means at most less than half of what he says isn't nonsense. I think.' Roxas frowned, confused by himself.

     'Are we still talking about _me?_ Coz I'm lost. Sit down, guys. Is she downstairs?'

     Kairi went to sit at the desk, the chair that was shaped like a star. She smoothed out the folds in her skirt and waited for Roxas to sit down too before answering.

     'Yeah, she's getting some lunch. I'll give her a shout when...'

     'Yeeeeaaaah, I'm not sure today is a good time for this. I didn't have a chance to run it by Roxas, and he's kind of got his own stuff going on right now, so...'

     'Oh. Right.' Kairi shot Roxas a tight smile, not nearly as genuine as before. 'It's just... we leave tomorrow, and, well, the world can't exactly wait for personal problems to subside.' She cringed at her own words. 'Sorry, I don't mean to be insensitive, but we're not blessed with time, Sora.'

     'Yeah, I know...'

     The mood had taken an uncomfortable turn. Roxas glanced between the two of them, noting the difference in their manner compared to how they always acted at the beach. He wasn't really following their conversation, but whatever they were talking about, it clearly had to do with him.

     'My personal problems aren't anyone else's concern,' Roxas said, pulling his legs up onto the bed to cross them, 'What did you want to run by me?'

     Sora and Kairi shared a glance, obvious disagreement between them, but it was Sora who blinked first.

     'Well... Ahh, I really wanted to do this properly. It's a _big_ thing, and nobody's gonna force you to agree, or threaten you, or anything. It's just... the talk we had yesterday, it changed a lot. At least for me, in terms of how I see you guys and knowing what the Organization are aiming for --' Sora saw Roxas tense, 'I only told Kairi, I swear! Like I said, you're not in any danger! I know it'd be a big leap to say you and me trust each other, but I think we've definitely got a sort of understanding between us. The way you stopped the Dusks from attacking that night, and you said you don't agree with your boss' plan, so I got to thinking...'

     Roxas couldn't keep the puzzlement from his face. Sora was talking a lot without really saying anything, at least that he could decipher.

     'What Sora's trying to say,' Kairi cut in, 'is that we can't just categorize you as The Enemy, at least not anymore. You've proven to be separate from what we thought we knew about you people. And because of that, we need to make a decision on how to move forward from now on.'

     Roxas nodded slowly, starting to follow.

     'Alright... So what does that mean?'

     Again, Sora and Kairi looked to each other, communicating silently in a way Roxas couldn't really understand.

     'What it means is that you have a choice, Roxas,' Sora said as Kairi stood up, moving back to the bedroom door, 'When someone makes an Other, it's a unique thing, so we can't really compare experiences, but at least in this case, we have something to consider.'

     Kairi disappeared down the hall, the stairs creaking beneath her feet.

     'Sora, who's downstairs?' The anxious knot returned to Roxas' stomach, leaving him unable to look away from the open door.

     'Someone like you,' Sora answered, 'Someone who made the same choice that you can make.'

     Two pairs of footsteps climbed the stairs, quiet voices murmuring to each other as they walked down the hallway. The girl stood at Kairi's side looked like her, identical if not for the details. Her hair was most noticeably different, blonde and a little longer, pulled over one of her shoulders. She didn't have dimples, either. But their eyes were the very same blue, striking in their vibrance.

     'Hello, Roxas,' the girl said, 'I'm Naminé.'

 

\---

 

The streets were empty, no lights in any windows. Even the neon signs of the shops had been shut off in fear of attracting the Dusks. The town was dead, just the two of them wandering through the gate to the second district.

     'I'm getting back ache walking like this, Rox,' Axel complained, 'A blindfold would've been better.'

     Their height difference had never really been a problem before, so Roxas hadn't factored it into his plan. When they arrived in Traverse Town, Roxas instructed Axel to lean down so he could cover his eyes. Walking was proving difficult. It was a wonder Axel hadn't fallen over yet.

     'It's just a little further,' Roxas said, stretching on the tips of his toes so Axel didn't have to bend down so far, 'Mind the steps.'

     The second district was just as bare as the first. There was no light to speak of, the moon just as blocked out as the sun, and the streetlamps extinguished. A normal human would have been helpless to navigate their way around, especially in the alleyway, where a waterway cut through the side of the path.

     'That _feels_ like water,' Axel said, 'Are we meant to be walking in water? Just checking.'

     'Yep. Almost there now.'

     Sloshing through the knee-high water, the two of them passed through the opening of the waterway. There was a faint light glowing around the bend, clearer the closer they came. The water made way for mossy-green cobblestones and a boarded over archway. Circular lanterns were embedded in the domed stone ceiling, forgotten by whoever had lit them, the only light remaining in Traverse Town.

     'Keep your eyes closed,' Roxas instructed, then hissed, 'Shoo!'

     A number of Dusks had clustered around the lights. At Roxas' order, they scurried away, even without seeing Oblivion.

     'Probably could've just kept my eyes closed during the walk here, really.'

     'You'd have peeked. You're a peeker if I've ever known one.'

     'That cuts me deep, Rox.' The smile in his voice said otherwise. 'So judging by the echo, you've stole me away to some cave. Bit sinister, that. This the part where you push me down a grotty well and leave me to rot?'

     'I didn't like that film.'

     'I _loved_ that film.'

     'I don't think she'd have been quite as threatening with hair as red as yours.'

     As they spoke, Roxas busied himself with preparing the stuff. He smoothed a sheet that may have once been white over the top of a crate. Two smaller crates were on either side, a makeshift table and chairs. It wasn't fancy but it would do.

     'Well, hair dye _is_ hard to get at the bottom of a well.'

     'I _knew_ you dyed it.'

     'Do I? All part of the enigma, Rox. You'll never know... Okay, whatever that was, that sounded sharp. Is this how I die? In a cave with my eyes closed? Coz I can think of much funner things to be doing in a cave with my eyes closed.'

     'Shutting up would be spectacularly fun, I think.'

     'Duly noted.'

     Axel rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet while Roxas continued to set up, pulling the cutlery and paper plates out of the rucksack he had left in the waterway earlier. There wasn't a _lot_ of food, but then, they didn't exactly need it, so quantity was irrelevant.

     Roxas took a step back, assessing his handiwork.

     'Alright, I think I'm done. You can look.'

     Axel cracked an eye open, teetering on his tip toes. He took in the quickly put together dining area, the knives and forks pilfered from god knows where, the paper plates with a floral design more fitting to a care home's curtains. Then he looked around at the cavern, the candles' lights reflected in the still water, the colourful mural at the end of the stream.

     'It's no winter lake,' Roxas allowed humbly, 'But I haven't been as many places as you.'

     'It's... a date?' Axel stepped forward, running his hand along the table. He wasn't smiling like Roxas had expected him to. 'What's the occasion?'

     'You don't like it?'

     'Spontaneity's never really been your thing, Rox. Just wondering where this is coming from.'

     It wasn't the reaction Roxas had anticipated at all. No smile, no joke, just suspicion. A chill like trickling water ran down his spine. Could Axel _know?_

     'From you, obviously,' Roxas replied with a defensive edge, 'You take me places sometimes. I just thought it'd be nice to return the gesture.'

     Axel only stared, waiting. For what? He couldn't possibly know. There was no way for him to. But when Axel did speak, it only made Roxas more certain that somehow, impossibly, he did.

     'I always knew we had a lot in common. That's what drew me to you in the first place. We're both not convinced by Leader's plan. We're both curious about the humans and their world. We both love to laze around off the clock.' As he listed off their similarities, Axel lifted a finger for each one. He held up his index finger last, letting Roxas' anxiety build with the silence. 'But I didn't realize we were _both_ liars.'

     Roxas' heartbeat thrummed in his ears.

     'Axel, I --'

     'I really thought you were gonna tell me the truth the other day, Roxas, I really did. I opened myself up, told you all my worries, and you... you just lied to my face.' Axel's carefree tone belied the anger in his words. Just going by his voice, he didn't seem angry at all. The dissonance confused Roxas more than anything else. 'At first, I figured it was something to do with the mission. A job from Leader that you were supposed to keep secret. Then _that_ happened to your face, and... now I don't know what to think, Roxas.'

     'I don't know _why_ my face got hurt. I just woke up that way.'

     Axel's eyes narrowed.

     'Yeah, you woke up that way, from sleep your body doesn't need with an injury your body shouldn't have been able to get. It's a nasty bruise. Some force behind it. Not something you get from just sleeping.'

     If Axel's words had been a physical thing, they would have been rising higher and higher, like water over Roxas' head. He didn't know what to say, this wasn't the conversation he had been planning to have, but it was veering dangerously close to the topic in an unpleasant way.

     'Why are we arguing?' Roxas asked, overwhelmed.

     At that, all the air seemed to go out of Axel. He sat down on one of the crates, shoulders tense and head hung. He still looked calm, though Roxas knew that was the furthest thing from the truth.

     'Wouldn't call it an argument,' he muttered, 'I'm the only one getting all wound up.'

     Roxas followed Axel's lead, sitting down opposite him. The plates lay empty between them. He wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything at all.

     'I talked to Saïx. He'd seen your face, y'know. Was _not_ happy. He has a theory about how it happened.' Axel straightened up, meeting Roxas' eyes. 'I really hope he's wrong.'

     Roxas took a deep breath.

     'I met my other.'

     He wasn't sure what reaction to expect. Axel's mood was often hard to predict, case in point his reaction to Roxas' surprise. Him closing his eyes and putting his head in his hands wasn't beyond expectation, but it still made Roxas' throat tighten up.

     Once the first secret was spoken, the rest came easily. Roxas talked about seeing daylight from Sora's shadow, how they both had a keyblade, how his influence over the shadow grew and grew until he had taken over it completely. He talked about befriending Hayner, Pence and Olette, the peaceful days they had spent together. He told Axel about his first true meeting with Sora, the keyblade to the face, the understanding they began to share. And Naminé.

     'She's like us, Axel, but she gets hungry and tired and can walk in the sunlight as much as she wants,' Roxas enthused, leaning across the table, 'She _chose_ to stay at Kairi's side so that she could be human too. She told me that we all have that choice, if only we can find our Other. We don't need to get rid of day, Axel, because we can live in it too!'

     _Both halves can live as a whole so long as they're together,_ Naminé had said, and placed Roxas' hand over Sora's, _It doesn't have to be one life or the other._

     Axel's face was hidden behind his hands. Roxas reached out, fingers brushing gently over his knuckles, but he flinched. When he did drop his hands and sit up, he was white as a sheet, lips pressed into a bloodless line.

     'You really believe all that?'

     Roxas shifted uncomfortably.

     'I'm choosing to,' he replied, 'It's the first time I've ever been given a choice.'

     'They'll kill you, Rox. You'll go to them and they'll kill you so that the Organization doesn't have a keyblade user,' Axel said with certainty, 'And if _they_ don't kill you, the Organization will for betraying them.'

     Of course the whole thing sounded too good to be true. Roxas was prepared for the worst and had been since he had decided to trust Sora. It benefited Sora's side if the Organization lost Roxas, the one who gave them the power to bring perpetual darkness. If they chose to kill him in order to ensure his power was lost, Roxas was prepared for it.

     'Becoming truly human is worth the risk,' Roxas said, resolute. He reached out to take Axel's hand, gripping it tight. 'You could come with me. We'll find your other so you can be human too --'

     Axel wrenched his hand away, jumping to his feet.

     'We can never be human!' Axel's voice filled the cavern, tremulous with rage. 'Don't fall for their lies!'

     Roxas' face fell. It wasn't unexpected, but he had still hoped...

     'Roxas, listen. I _get_ it, okay? We live in this constant state of... of lacking something. We all feel it, the absence of something crucial, and I agree that Leader's plan isn't going to fill that hole. Not because he's wrong, but just because... nothing will.' Axel knelt down in front of Roxas, taking his hands. 'And neither will this. They're trying to trick you, Rox. They know the Organization won't pose as much of a threat to them without you, so they're telling you what you want to hear --'

     'You don't understand, Axel,' Roxas interrupted, 'I know they're not lying because I've already experienced it. Not even the blow to the face... just being _there,_ everything feels so much realer than it does away from Sora.'

     Axel's nails dug into Roxas' hands. It didn't hurt, but Roxas could imagine the dull sting, the imprints it would leave on his skin, if Sora were here to make him feel them.

     'So nothing here matters?'

     Roxas cringed inwardly.

     'That's not what I meant.'

     'If it wasn't, you wouldn't even be considering this.' There was an imploring quality to Axel's words now. Almost pleading. It was hard to hear, so far removed from how he usually was. Axel never pleaded for anything. Roxas hated that he was the reason for it. 'Don't do this, Rox. You know it'll be me they send after you. I'm more expendable than you, I can't risk being turned into a Dusk, I _can't.'_

     Roxas shook his head.

     'They can't do th --'

     'Xemnas can. Maybe not to you, but the rest of us...'

     'Axel, I'm doing this.' There was no room for argument. Roxas stood up, pulling Axel to his feet as well. 'Maybe Sora will kill me. If not, and Leader orders you to come for me, I won't fight you. Do whatever you need to do.'

     Roxas lifted one of Axel's hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

     'And if you change your mind, it's never too late. Whether it's in a month or a year or even twenty years, I'll still want to be human together with you.'

     Roxas let go of Axel's hand, pretending not to notice how Axel's fingers grasped for his. He stepped away, out of the reach of the lanterns' glow. The shadows were waiting for him, the last time he would be able to travel through them.

     'See you later, Axel.'

     If Axel said anything, it was lost to the rushing wind as Roxas dropped into the darkness. The last image he had of Axel was those green eyes staring after him blankly, his fingers still twitching at the absence of Roxas' hand.

 

\---

 

Roxas fell, and fell, and fell.

     The darkness stretched on as far as the eye could see, but it was broken up here and there by narrow windows into other places. Towns and cities across the world, each with their shadows, these passageways for the Dusks to travel through. He could tell when he was approaching Twilight Town as a swarm of Dusks stood frozen, unable to pass through the open window, as they had been for the last month and some days.

     Roxas almost felt sorry for them, wondered if they had the capacity to feel trapped. He stood beside them for a while, long enough for Axel to have caught up if he had followed, but no one joined him at the window.

     Roxas' hands balled into fists. He stepped out of the shadows into Twilight Town.

     'I'm glad to see you.' It was Naminé who greeted him, perched atop the station plaza wall. Despite the cold night, she was wearing a white sundress. 'Should we be prepared for pursuers yet?'

     A part of Roxas wished he could say yes.

     'No, only Axel knows. I don't think he'll report it straight away.' Roxas joined her at the wall, looking out over Twilight Town. It was more illuminated than he was used to. The townspeople were becoming more brave in the continued absence of the Dusks. 'He thinks you guys are going to kill me. I'd understand if you were, though it would've been cruel to get my hopes up like this.'

     Naminé shook her head with a soft smile.

     'Sora won't let them harm you. I know it's hard to trust them, it's taken me a long time to learn to trust Kairi, but they want this to happen as much as you do.'

     'And I'll really become human?'

     Roxas could hear people approaching now. Voices drifting up the slope, more than one person for sure. Axel's words suddenly seemed a lot more believable. It wasn't too late to go back into the shadows, before those people made it to the top of the slope.

     Naminé bumped her shoulder into his.

     'It's Sora, Kairi, Riku, Cid and Tifa. Sora has told them everything, he had to if this is going to work, and they want to be here to make sure he's safe. They're good people and they won't hurt you, I promise. Remember to breathe.'

     Roxas had needed the reminder. He inhaled slowly, urging himself to remain calm. He had made his choice now. He needed to see it through.

     'I've never actually met Riku, Cid and Tifa, but I feel like I have,' Roxas said, mostly talking just to distract himself.

     'You'll like them,' Naminé assured him, 'Riku might be cold at first, he was to me, but it's only worry for Kairi and Sora. He takes a while to get used to people, that's all. Cid and Tifa will be friendlier. I suppose I'm like the trial example of this whole thing. Since I've proven to them that this can work, they shouldn't be too suspicious of you. If you're getting overwhelmed by them, just give me a nod and I'll get them to give you a minute to yourself.'

     Roxas nodded shakily, foot tapping against the paving stones. Sora appeared at the top of the hill first, waving his arm wildly over his head. The others followed more sedately, Roxas' heart beating faster with every step they took towards him.

     'Whatever they're going to do... will it hurt?' Roxas whispered.

     Naminé's hand found his, so much smaller than Axel's.

     'Being human hurts,' she replied, 'But it's so worth it. Don't be frightened, Roxas.'

     Easier said than done. Roxas knew with certainty now that he had the capacity to feel fear, whether he was human or not.

     'Hey,' Sora greeted as he ran over to them, out of breath, 'How's the face?'

     Roxas mustered up a smile.

     'Still mutilated.'

     'You gonna let that go any time soon? I did apologize. Here, come meet the others.'

     Roxas let go of Naminé's hand, following Sora to the others. There was more than a little reluctance in his gait. They weren't smiling, and Riku was bordering on a glare. The atmosphere was far from welcoming.

     'Are they always blond?' Cid spoke first, openly scrutinizing Roxas. 'The girl's blond an' all, you'd think they'd look more like the real version.'

     'Cid, manners.' Tifa was the first to smile. It wasn't entirely forced, but Roxas could tell she was having to make an effort. She held out her hand for Roxas to shake. 'I'm Tifa. Thanks for coming. It can't have been an easy decision to make.'

     Riku remained silent, even when Kairi elbowed him in the side. At least she was a familiar face. She gave Roxas a quick hug, whispering an apology in his ear for the others. He wasn't sure why, but he appreciated it none the less.

     'Let's get this show on the road then!' If Sora noticed the chilly reception Roxas received, he gave no indication, grinning bright enough for everyone. 'We gonna do it here?'

     'Here's probably best. It's the highest point in town,' Cid replied, looking up to the black sky.

     'Let's avoid the nasty surprise Roxas got last time and actually _explain_ what's going to happen this time, hm?' Kairi suggested. 'Roxas, can you summon your keyblade, please?'

     '...Sure.'

     Confused, Roxas stretched his arm out at his side, Oblivion appearing in his hand. He saw Riku tense out the corner of his eye, a stance he was more than familiar with, and echoed the readiness. If Riku jumped at him, he would be prepared to fight -- but hadn't he said he was prepared for this possibility? That it was all a trap, a ploy to get him outnumbered and alone. He forced himself to relax, glancing over at Naminé for some sort of reassurance. She came to stand with him, a solid presence at his side.

     'Sora, you too.'

     'You got it, boss.'

     Sora's keyblade was the opposite to Roxas'. Where his was black, Sora's was a pristine silver. Roxas' was all sharp points and edges, but Sora's was gentler, a softer design. Roxas knew first hand that it cut just as wickedly as his own, however.

     'Sora told us that you call your keyblade Oblivion. Is that right?' Kairi had taken complete charge of the situation. No one else tried to speak, to interrogate him, and he was glad for it.

     'Yeah. It's not that I named it that. That's just what its name _is.'_

     'Sora's keyblade is called Oathkeeper. Not all of us have keyblades, but those of us that do are chosen to receive them, and when we do, there are conditions we need to fill before it becomes our own,' Kairi explained. She looked to Sora, who was more than happy to jump in.

     'My condition was pretty much what it says on the tin. I had to make an oath, and I can only use the keyblade in order to fulfil that oath. If I try to abuse Oathkeeper's power, I have to pay a price. So, y'know, falling asleep for a whole year of my life, that sort of thing.'

     'What was your oath?' Roxas asked, looking at Sora's keyblade with open curiosity.

     Sora didn't reply right away, his smile turning a bit embarrassed. Riku snorted quietly, though when Roxas looked at him, he pretended he hadn't made a peep.

     'Well, y'know, I was only thirteen when I was chosen to wield the keyblade, so you gotta cut me some slack on the cheesiness of my oath,' Sora insisted, pre-emptively flustered, 'And cringey wording aside, it's worked out pretty well!'

     'Oh, we're going to be here all night. His oath was, and I quote, 'to conquer evil and darkness.' It's not _that_ bad,' Tifa said, exasperated. Riku's snort this time wasn't quite as muffled.

     'I was quoting a cartoon, okay!'

     'Yeah, that you watched when you were five.' Riku had finally cracked a smile. 'Can't believe you can still quote it word for word.'

     'Says you, with your Mickey Mouse pyjamas --'

     _'Anyway!_ ' Sora and Riku settled down when Kairi called for attention. 'My point is that Roxas' keyblade must be a counter balance to Sora's. Sora's embodies his desire to, as he puts it, conquer darkness. So when you were created, Roxas, your keyblade was made as a reflection of his. If his destroys the darkness, then yours creates is. As we've seen in action.'

     All of them, Roxas included, glanced up at the pitch-black sky.

     'In order to make Naminé human, we needed to get rid of the darkness within her. The way we did this was for Sora to use Oathkeeper on her.'

     Roxas' hand tightened around Oblivion. He hadn't been sure exactly _what_ they were going to do to him, but that wasn't anything like he had expected. He had felt the force of Oathkeeper before. He wasn't sure he wanted to feel it again.

     'But Sora and I have been thinking,' Kairi continued, 'Your situation is obviously very different to Naminé's. There are more factors to consider. Your keyblade is the most important one. If we make you human and it disappears, will the Dusks return to Twilight Town? Will the darkness Oblivion has collected be released? There are a lot of question, and no way for us to know the answer.'

     Roxas hadn't considered the possibility of losing Oblivion. He didn't like it, not at all.

     'We thought about continuing as we have done, with Sora manifesting you from his shadow. That way, we would be sure that Oblivion would remain, but the strain it would put on Sora over time could risk another year like the last one. He could create another Other and the Organization would have another keyblade wielder. We can't risk that, so...'

     'So we're just gonna have to bet the lot on this,' Sora finished, spinning Oathkeeper fluidly in his hand, 'If I use Oathkeeper on you while you've already got Oblivion summoned, there's a good chance that it'll remain even when the darkness in you has been cut away.'

     'It's a two way street.' Riku spoke to Roxas for the first time, actually looking him in the eye now. 'We do this for you, and then you undo _that.'_

     He pointed up to the blacked out sky.

     'I... don't know if I can.' Roxas looked at each of them, but there was no clemency to be found.

     'If you made it happen, you can fix it,' Riku replied, as though it was really as simple as that.

     This was too far removed from anything Roxas had expected. How many of them there were, their subtle hostility, being set upon by Oathkeeper, the expectation that he would single-handedly repair the damage the Organization had done. All of that on top of having left Axel, just walked away without a backwards glance.

     'We don't all need to be here for this.'

     Roxas had expected it to be Naminé, Kairi even, but it was Tifa who spoke, looking at him with something bordering on empathy. She stepped over to him and gave his shoulder a squeeze, then grabbed Cid and Riku by their sleeves, tugging them along with her as she made for the slope.

     Riku opened his mouth to argue, but Sora yelled first, 'We won't be long! Catch you in a bit!'

     Roxas didn't realize he had been holding his breath until they disappeared down the hill and he exhaled shakily. His palm was damp around Oblivion.

     'Sorry, man, didn't mean for it to be such an ambush. When we filled them in on what was going on, they insisted on coming along.' Sora rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, only just noticing Roxas' discomfort. 'And don't worry about what Riku said, you've done enough just by coming tonight.'

     'It's not too late to change your mind, Roxas,' Naminé said, still stood beside him, 'This isn't a decision you'll be able to go back on. You need to be absolutely sure.'

     He had been, until now.

     'I... don't know if I _can_ fix what we did to the sky. I would if I could. I miss the stars.' The thought had only just occurred to him, almost too late. 'What will happen to me after we do this, Sora? Especially if I don't still have Oblivion. Will I stay with you?'

     'Of course you will,' Sora reassured. He knocked his keyblade against Roxas', the clash of metal cutting through the silence of the still night. 'You've got half the town thinking you're my brother, after all. We're not gonna leave you out on the street.'

     'Don't worry about what will happen afterwards, Roxas,' Kairi said, 'Don't let that make your choice for you. You'll be safe with us, you'll have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, all of those things. Just think about whether this is what you really want. You have the time to think about it.'

     Roxas had the time to think himself _out_ of it. He had already left Axel behind, deserted the Organization in doing so, and shown his face to Sora's companions. The decision was made.

     'Do it.'

     Roxas took a step back, parallel to Sora. He held his arms at his sides, nothing standing between him and Oathkeeper. He and Sora locked eyes, a shared agreement, a promise, before Sora stalked forward and brought Oathkeeper down upon Roxas' chest.

     The keyblade did not slice his skin as it had the first time Sora had turned it upon him. It didn't cut through him so much as it _phased_ through him. In its wake, black vapour, like that of the Dusks, swirled in the air like smoke. Roxas watched it leech away from him, fading into nothing before his eyes.

     Then came the white hot blaze of pain.

     Roxas' breath escaped him and then he could take in no more. Oblivion dropped from his hand as he fell to his knees. _Make it stop,_ he wanted to plead, but the words wouldn't form. He felt someone touch his shoulder, a soft stroke, meant to be comforting, but he flinched away from it. _Make it stop!_

     Roxas had never screamed before. It took him a moment to realize that the piercing sound, like that of the Dusks' victims, was coming from him. Even when he knew, he couldn't make himself stop. Screaming helped. Like the pain was leaving him through sound.

     When it finally began to ease, Roxas' forehead was pressed against the dusty paving stones, bent double and trembling. His clothes were damp with sweat and he was wheezing. Naminé was rubbing circles into his back, more soothing now than it had been before.

     'Ow,' was Roxas' first word as a human, ' _Ow!'_

     'Yeah, I imagine that stings a bit.' Sora's voice lacked its usual humour. Roxas forced himself to straighten up, Naminé helping when she realized what he was doing. Roxas looked to Sora and found him fighting back tears. 'I'm really sorry.'

     Roxas didn't know what the wet heat welling at his eyes meant until tears spilled over his cheeks as well. His breath, already struggling, hitched in a sob. The pain was finally fading, but he couldn't stop shaking.

     'It really hurt.'

     'I'm sorry!'

     'No, Sora, it _hurt._ I felt it. I actually felt the pain, and I'm not even asleep.'

     Roxas slumped against Naminé. He was smiling, even as tears continued to stream down his face. He felt sweaty and sticky and uncomfortable, and it was _brilliant!_ It was so much more intense than it had been in Sora's shadow, even in Roxas' dreams.

     Sora gave a watery smile, then knelt down to pull Roxas into a hug. His keyblade disappeared from his hand as his arms wrapped around Roxas' shoulders. Roxas returned the hug, feeling not only the pressure of Sora's arms around him but the warmth of his body, actual feeling as opposed to simple sensation.

     It took a good few minutes for them both to calm down. When they did, they were equally as blotchy and tear-stained. Sora wiped his nose on his sleeve, to Kairi's distaste.

     'You did great, Roxas,' she said, holding out her hand to help him to his feet. As he stood, his foot knocked against something on the floor.

     'That's... different,' Naminé observed.

     At Roxas' feet was a keyblade. It was not Oblivion, though it had the same shape Oblivion had had. Its colours were inversed, white replacing the black, gold replacing the silver. A chain dangled from its handle with a small white star at its end.

     Roxas flexed his fingers and felt the keyblade's call, urging him to pick it up.

     'What were you thinking about,' Sora asked, 'When Oathkeeper touched you?'

     'I was thinking... that I wanted to see the stars again.'

     Roxas picked up the keyblade. As his fingers wrapped around the handle, a word entered his mind, as though it had always been there. _Lightbringer._ And Roxas found that he knew exactly what to do. As Oathkeeper's opposite, Oblivion had brought darkness, but this new keyblade had been born as Roxas changed, had changed with him. If Oblivion brought darkness, then this new keyblade could bring light.

     Roxas raised his arm, pointing Lightbringer to the black sky, and a ray of light shone out of its tip. It permeated the darkness in the sky, overpowering it in an instant. The black disappeared, the same vapour that had seeped from Roxas, and the true night sky returned.

     Twilight Town's perpetual sunset shone down upon them, the warmth of a sun Roxas had never known before, better than anything he could have imagined.

 

\---


	4. Chapter Four

Roxas had left so little an imprint of himself in the room they had shared. A t-shirt meant for the wash, his toothbrush, the seashell Axel had given him. Those were the only details that remained now. Axel wondered how he had never before noticed the spectral way Roxas went about life in the Organization, present but non-distinct, a step removed from the rest of them.

     It was no wonder it had been so easy for him to leave.

     Axel dropped his coat onto the unmade bed, picking up the seashell in his gloveless hand.

     He could have caught up to Roxas easily. He wanted to know where he had gone, to see this Other with his own eyes, but doing so would have meant there was no excuse for not giving the information to Xemnas. At least this way he didn't have to feign ignorance and risk punishment.

     Warmth built up in the heart of Axel's palm. A red glow emanated from his hand, engorging the seashell. The glow became a blaze without Axel consciously doing it, and in the moment it took for him to quell the flame, the seashell had charred beyond recognition. An ugly black husk sat on his palm, the smell eye-watering.

     His fingers tightened around it, his skin beginning to blister. It hit the wall with enough force to shatter, sharp blackened chunks skittering across the floor.

     A knock on the door, then Saïx came in before waiting for Axel to answer. It was rare of him to even bother to knock first these days.

     'We have lost Twilight Town.'

     There was a hint of accusation there. More than a hint in his amber eyes.

     'Hello to you too,' Axel said, unclenching his hands, 'I'm fine, thanks. You?'

     'You said you had this under control.' Saïx didn't rise to the bait. He eyed the shards of burnt shell scattered across the floor. 'It was foolish of me to believe you.'

     Axel sighed loudly, picking up his coat again as he walked towards the door.

     'Leader wants to see me, then?'

     'Obviously.' They left Axel's bedroom, the door clicking shut behind them. The halls were conspicuously empty despite the morning's quick approach. The other members should have been returning by now. 'I did warn you against becoming attached to the boy. Keyblade wielders are wildcards, no matter which side they're on.'

     'Saïx,' Axel warned.

     'Playing house with him was a silly thing to do.'   

     'Line. You. Crossing it.'

     'Whatever happens, you've brought it upon yourself.' They stopped outside of the tall quartz doors, weighing one another up. Neither much liked what they found. 'You changed once he came.'

     'And you changed a long time before that,' Axel said, entering the meeting room. A part of him wanted to glance back and see if his words had had any effect. He knew they wouldn't have.

     Only Xemnas waited in the room, stood at the foot of the winding stairs. He stared up at the swirling mass of darkness above their heads. There was no visible difference, but Axel knew that there was less darkness captured there now than there should have been.

     _Damn it, Roxas._

     'You were instructed to report to us if the boy made contact with his Other.'

     Xemnas didn't even deign to look at him.

     'I wasn't aware he had,' Axel answered, at least somewhat honest, 'His missions were always with me, and to my knowledge, he never left here unaccompanied. If he made contact with his Other, it was in a way that I couldn't see.'

     'In his sleep, Superior,' Saïx cut in, stepping up to Axel's side. 'Axel shared his concerns with me that the boy had taken to sleeping constantly when he wasn't on assignment --'

     'I was only asking whether we could get sick.' It was dangerously close to a snap. Axel reigned himself in, slipping his hands inside his coat pockets, trying to look more at ease. 'We might not need to sleep, but we still _can,_ so I was curious about whether we could get sick too. People sleep a lot when they're sick, or so I hear.'

     Xemnas was hardly listening to them. He had eyes only for the darkness above.

     'In his sleep?' he murmured, more to himself than to them, 'Does the boy dream?'

     Neither of them could answer that. All Axel knew was that he had never dreamt, though sometimes he saw a flicker in the depths of sleep, like a far away door.

     'I believe that being the Other of a keyblade wielder made their connection stronger than we are used to,' Saïx continued, 'The boy's face was injured a short while ago, though there was no discernible cause behind the injury that Axel could ascertain. I believe that the injury was obtained in dream, and it manifested upon his physical body due to the strengthening connection with his Other.'

     Axel hadn't _told_ him that. Not in as many words. He hadn't meant to say a damn thing. It was his usual piss poor luck that had meant running into Saïx right when he wanted to the least, Roxas' blood on his fingers, bordering on hysteria at the very existence of the blood. The truth had just spilled from him.

     'And you didn't think to report this to me?' Xemnas asked quietly, too quietly. Saïx hesitated as he realized the question was directed at him. He was quick to lower his head.

     'My apologies, Superior. I believed Axel to have the situation in hand.'

     'Yeah, yeah, it's all my fault.' Axel's carefree tone belied the shaking of his hands. 'March me off to the gallows and be done with it already.'

     Xemnas finally turned around. There was no obvious anger in him. If anything, he looked at Axel with pity. He glanced to Saïx.

     'Leave us.'

     For a minute, Saïx seemed ready to argue, but ultimately nodded and left. The door slid shut behind him with a soft whoosh of air.

     Axel waited for his verdict, a cold sweat licking at the back of his neck.

     'You'll recover the boy,' Xemnas instructed, nothing close to a request, 'He can be forgiven for straying, so long as he returns Twilight Town to the darkness. We can allow for this mistake, we've all of us been naive at one point. This is your mistake too.'

     'And... what if he won't return?' Axel asked, though his real question lingered between them. _What if he has become human?_ It didn't need to be spoken.

     Xemnas looked down and away, as though contemplating his response.

     'Then you will have failed your mission, Axel. You'll accept the consequences of that without dissent, won't you?' Xemnas began to climb the steps, the one-sided conversation coming to a close. 'You will bring the boy back, whether he consents to returning or not. So long as he exists, the keyblade wielder will not be capable of creating another Other, and so we will be without _our_ keyblade. We don't need Roxas, we just need his power.'

     Axel's blood ran cold.

     'Do what you deem in the best interests of the Organization, Axel,' Xemnas said, 'Even if Roxas himself isn't what is best for us anymore.'

 

\---

 

The members of the Organization didn't associate with each other all that much. Beyond sniping during meetings, that was. Such a solitary life of going out to kill then returning to wait until they could go out to kill again, Axel had never been content with it, not even before being told about his Other.

     It was Saïx who did that, of course. Discovering the location of Isa had shook Saïx to his core. It wasn't that they didn't know their Others were out in the world somewhere, but their existence was almost unreal, at least to Axel. This conceptual better version of them, ones who shared their faces and lived in the sunlight, who hungered and grew tired and didn't have to play at basic humanity.

     Saïx was consumed by the existence of his Other, and expected Axel to be too. In his mind, a connection had formed between them as soon as he realized Isa and Axel's Other were connected.

     Axel didn't feel it, but having someone talking to him was better than waiting in utter silence for day to end.

     _His name is Lea._

     That was the only information Axel would allow Saïx to share. Even that was more than he really wanted to know. Down to his very name, he was a poor mimicry of the human. He couldn't even have a _name_ all of his own. It opened up too many questions.

     Did Axel really like the things he liked or were Lea's preferences bleeding through the connection they had, fooling him into thinking he had even a shred of autonomy.

     The thoughts he had, the opinions he developed, the things that made him laugh; were any of them his own, or was he just copying Lea's personality, a distant and diluted echo.

     Axel didn't have an answer, so he refused to hear any more of Lea. If he found out any concrete facts about _him,_ all the truths he thought he knew about himself would be called into question.

     Axel didn't want to know. Axel didn't want to be a shadow.

     But Saïx did. By the day, Axel watched him become more consumed by the existence of Isa. He would return from his missions with more knowledge about his Other, facts and anecdotes, until Isa was all he spoke about.

     Axel didn't have the capacity to care, or at least that was what he believed at the time, but despite that, he found himself worried for Saïx. The obsession could lead nowhere good. The one time he tried to broach the subject, Saïx had looked him in the eye, almost smiling, and said, _'Lea worries about Isa too.'_

     Axel had walked away and never looked back. A short while later, Roxas had joined them, and everything changed.

     It was Axel's desire to have something that Lea couldn't claim to have that led him to approach Roxas. Lea didn't know Roxas. Lea didn't know Roxas' Other. Roxas was an existence entirely separate from Lea's, any connection that formed between them something Axel could call his own.

     It was _Axel_ who spoke to Roxas every day, then joined him on his missions, a friendship forming between them independent of their Others.

     It was _Axel_ who Roxas kissed by the lake, who he shared a room and a bed with, who talked to him and laughed with him every day.

     And it was Axel who had noticed the familiar gleam in Roxas' eye when he began to sleep more than he was awake. A preoccupied look, a sense of being present but mentally being elsewhere, talk of coconuts and beaches and other things that Roxas had never experienced but suddenly knew about.

     It was Axel who watched Roxas walk away, choosing to be a shadow of his Other over his own person, and Axel knew the crushing loss he felt was entirely his own.

     Perhaps it was strong enough that even Lea had felt it.

 

\---

 

Axel could only travel properly by night. Fortunately, with the other towns and cities the Organization had claimed, he had a lot more room to roam even during daylight hours.

     It would have been easiest to just travel through the shadows directly to Twilight Town. That was surely what Xemnas expected him to do. Well, screw it. He'd walk the whole damn way, give Roxas time to think things through, if he was still even alive. If he wasn't, Axel would find his Other and force him to use the keyblade until Roxas was able to come back.

     No matter what, he was taking Roxas back _alive,_ Xemnas' orders be damned.

     Port Royal. The City of Bells. Traverse Town. Darkness had swallowed their skies, and Axel passed through them with ease, not a human in sight. It was the smaller villages that were the problem. The sky was bright and humans roamed, so Axel hid until night came. It was slow-going, days blurring together into weeks, the old restless monotony settling into Axel once more.

     The monotony was broken after Axel had lost track of the days. The sign of the city read _Radiant Garden,_ a place he had never been before, and yet...

     Axel stood before the sign, fingers running over the engraved letters.

     When he closed his eyes, he could see the streets of Radiant Garden as though he had walked them before. The buildings were as familiar as the layout of the Organization's headquarters. Sweet shops and ice cream stands, toys and accessories and cafés, endless houses surrounding a majestic old castle.

     Axel opened his eyes, pulse pounding in his ears. He could feel a _pull._ A compulsion to enter the town. There was someone walking the streets despite the Dusks, someone he had never met but knew.

     His gloved fingers twitched in the empty air, his chakrams only a thought away from reality.

     So this was how Saïx and Roxas had felt. Being so _close_ to their Other that they could sense their presence. It almost hurt, that physical pull towards them.

     Axel was striding past the sign before he even realized he'd decided to enter the city.

     Did they share the same features?

     Their eyes, their hair, were they the same colours?

     Was Lea as tall as Axel? Slimmer or brawnier? Exactly the same?

     What about manner of dress? Beneath his black leather coat, would Axel's clothes match the style of Lea's?

     Just how alike were they really?

     He had to _know._

     The Dusks watched Axel pass, their heads following after him. Some trailed behind, instinctively falling in line with the more powerful creature, gliding through the shadows.

     They fell back when there was a burst of light. Sudden, bright, inexplicable. The sky was still completely black yet that light was as bright as day.

     Axel staggered back, arm raised to shield his eyes. Terror took him for a moment, a certainty that he was _gone,_ erased by the daylight. But then the terror passed and he was still standing in the street, flinching behind his arm.

     'You okay there, man?!'

     Axel's chest heaved, panic stealing his breath. He heard the footsteps approaching him but couldn't force his body to move. He couldn't blink away the cigarette burns, couldn't see the person's face through the haze.

     But he knew them.

     He was them.

     'Had me spooked there!' A hand clapped against Axel's shoulder, the voice energetic. 'They were right on your tail, didn't you notice?'

     Gradually, Axel's body untensed. His arm finally lowered from his face. His breathing evened out. It was still hard to make out the other person, the light strong behind him, but the fuzziness was fading from Axel's vision.

     Red hair. Green eyes. Same height and build. A mirror image.

     Axel's heart sank.

     Then his temper flared.

     The chakrams appeared in his hands from a burst of red light, not quite flames, but flickering all the same. He gripped them tight, the scarred skin of his fingers stretched taut.

     Lea was quick to pull his own weapon, unclasped from a holster across his back. It... looked like Roxas'. Not the details, obviously, but the basic shape. A keyblade made of wood.

     'Are there more?' Lea looked around them wildly, but they were safe in the circle of light shining across the courtyard. 'No end to the bastards, is there?'

     Axel's stance dropped, though he kept his chakrams with him. He stared at the keyblade, glad that his hood was hiding his expression. He wasn't sure what face he was making right then.

     'You have a keyblade,' Axel said quietly.

     Lea looked down at his weapon with an almost smug grin.   'Ah, this thing? Nope, this is just a practice one. They say I'll be getting a real one soon, though. The Dusks won't stand a chance once I do. This is my training.'

     He nodded over his shoulder towards the source of the light. Now that Axel wasn't completely blinded by it, he could see it was some sort of massive lamp. The kind theatres used, but bigger. It lit up the entire courtyard, insufferably bright.

     'What's it for?' Axel asked, though he already knew the answer.

     'To keep the Dusks at bay, of course!' Lea said, eyeing him like he had said something particularly stupid. 'When everything went to shit, we had to figure out a way to live our lives. Couldn't just hide in our houses forever, y'know. Us trainees man the lights. Pretty important job -- ow! What was that for?!'

     Axel slapped his hand against Lea's face, palm against nose. It wasn't exactly hard, though it wasn't gentle either. Lea seemed more surprised than anything. He ducked away from Axel's hand, a sullen twist to his mouth.

     Lea felt very real. Not that Axel had expected otherwise, but still... He was definitely a real, physical thing. And so was Axel. Axel, who was standing in a sphere of light and not being erased, not even in pain. Axel was _there,_ just as much as Lea was.

     And Axel was significantly less obnoxious. Maybe even a little taller.

     'You wanna go?' Lea demanded, annoyed. He held his keyblade in front of him defensively.

     'Do I wanna...?' A smirk pulled at Axel's lips. His wrist twisted, one of the chakrams swaying slowly at his side. 'You really got time to be playing around when you're on duty, trainee?'

     'I'm not playing!'

     Lea pounced. The air whooshed by Axel's ears as he ducked and side-stepped, catching Lea in the stomach with his arm instead of the chakram. Lea staggered back, winded, but was quick to charge at him again.

     His movement were... clumsy. Not necessarily _wrong,_ but unpracticed. He knew the method behind fighting, but clearly hadn't put it into practice often.

     So there was at least one thing Axel was better at than him.

     Axel ended the fight quick, more for his own gratification than to put Lea out of his misery. A boot to the stomach and a knee to the shoulder had Lea floored, pinned beneath Axel, his keyblade skittering across the ground.

     'Ugh, I give. I give.'

     Axel stared at Lea's throat, chakram heavy in his hand. Would he disappear if Lea did? Could a shadow exist without its light? There was only one way to find out, and at this point, Axel didn't really have anything to lose. Had he ever?

     'Man, you are _rough,_ I didn't stand a chance. And the Dusks aren't gonna hold their blows like that, haha. Those things are cool, though,' Lea chattered away with a grin, admiring the weapon that could easily end his life, 'Not better than a real keyblade, but they look pretty good.'

     For a minute, Axel didn't move, barely even breathed. Then he sighed. His chakrams disappeared with a snap of his wrists.

     'How are you not dead already? Good lord.' Axel knocked his knuckles against Lea's forehead, getting an indignant splutter in response. 'You're damn right the Dusks won't hold their blows. A piddly little key won't do you any good if you don't sort out your footwork.'

     Axel got to his feet, looking down at Lea. A pause, then he held out his hand for Lea to take.

     'You already kicked my ass, man, you don't have to keep going,' Lea laughed, 'Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating a little about getting a keyblade _soon._ I only got chosen a few weeks ago.'

     'Well, that doesn't sound nearly as impressive, does it?'

     'Just you wait. I'll blow you away next time.'

     Axel's smirk drooped a little.

     'Next time, eh?'

     'You've _got_ ta give me a rematch. You can't just kick someone's ass like that then never give them a chance at redeeming themselves. That'd be too cruel.'

     'Maybe your ego needs a little cruelty.'

     Lea only laughed. Clearly he wasn't the sort to hold a grudge. Axel had never considered himself to be that way either, so maybe it wasn't a bad trait to have gotten from Lea.

     'We'll see. I better get moving --'

     'Wait! Before you go.' Axel jolted as Lea threw his arm around his shoulders. A mobile phone was extended in front of them, the front camera on. Lea's grin and Axel's bemusement was captured with a white flash. 'I always take a picture with new people I meet. Say, what's your...'

     Lea trailed off as he looked at the photo. He looked between the screen and Axel, confusion and maybe even a little fear in his eyes.

     'Goodbye, Lea.'

     Axel tugged his hood more securely to cover his face, a face almost identical to Lea's, and strode out of the dome of light.

     His heart felt lighter than it had in a long time.

     He wanted to see Roxas.

     Axel stepped into the nearest shadow, ready to find the window into Twilight Town.

 

\---

 

Sora felt the arrival first. His hand stilled, fork hovering over his plate, eyes out of focus as they seemed to search far beyond the kitchen. It wasn't the presence of a Dusk, none could enter Twilight Town anymore, but whatever it was, it had the same sort of feeling to it.

     Roxas watched him, shovelling more rice into his mouth. It was his second helping and he was starting to feel full. Fit to burst. It was a sensation he just couldn't get used to, a hunger fulfilled.

     'What's up?'

     Sora blinked, focus back in the room. He put his fork down, dinner forgotten.

     'Someone's here,' Sora said, not a shade of his usual good humour to be found, 'One of them _._ '

     Roxas looked down, then nodded.

     'I'm surprised it took them this long.'

     No more needed to be said. They had already discussed the eventuality in more depth than was really necessary considering their very simple conclusion; get them before they get us.

     Sora led the way, a walk itching to become a run. Down Market Street, cutting through the Back Alley, coming out into the Sandlot. It was empty for once, the hour late despite the lingering sunlight. Night never truly came in Twilight Town. But the shadows were long, the buildings tall enough to cast them, and a figure cloaked in black waited for them there.

     'You can still walk away,' Sora called out to them from the Struggle podium, Oathkeeper appearing in his hand, its keychain clinking.

     The person held up their hands in front of them, no weapon to be seen. Roxas put out his arm across Sora even before they spoke, recognizing those threadbare gloves.

     He'd given them to Axel himself.

     'Yep, could hop, skip and jump away too, if I felt like it.' Axel pushed down his hood, wincing at the brightness of the Sandlot, even from the safety of the shadowed edges. 'Relax. I come in peace.'

     'Somehow I doubt that.'

     Sora wouldn't be placated so easily, though he did glance over his shoulder at Roxas, who he thought was unduly calm about the whole thing. That, and the arm stopping him from approaching the enemy. Sora may not have been great at reading atmospheres all the time, but he was getting a pretty good feel for this one.

     'Hi, Axel,' Roxas said with a small smile, 'They didn't kill me.'

     'So I see. You getting a tan? Looking a little bronzer than I remember.'

     'You think?' Roxas held up one of his arms to assess. 'We went to the beach last week. There's one just a few train stops away. I didn't know about sunscreen so I got all burnt. You know you go all red and sore?'

     'See, the sun's not so good for you after all.'

     'It has its pros and its cons.'

     Axel finally cracked a smile, though Roxas could see the trepidation behind it. Though he tried to look only at Roxas, his eyes couldn't help wandering to Sora's keyblade.

     'Did you come to kill me, Axel?' Roxas asked. Sora tensed against his arm, as ready for a fight as he had ever seen him. Roxas pushed him back a little, a gesture to Axel rather than a deterrent for Sora.

     'If the boss asks, yeah. Just between you and me -- and him, I guess. Hello -- I'm here to talk. _Just_ talk. Can we?' Axel was all hesitation and discomfort. It was making Roxas uncomfortable seeing him that way.

     'Rox --'

     Sora shook his head, but Roxas' hand against his was firm, pushing Oathkeeper down until the tip touched the floor.

     'He's not gonna hurt me.'

     'You can't _know_ that.'

     'Yes, I can.'

     They stared at each other, waiting for the other to blink. It wasn't often that it was Sora who gave in first, and the fact that Roxas refused to budge was sign enough that Sora needed to give him some leeway. There was only suspicion when he looked over at Axel, though.

     'Alright. Five minutes --'

     'No time limits, c'mon.'

     'Fine! Just... I'll wait around the corner. Shout me when you're done talking. Or he attacks you. Whichever happens first.'

     As Sora walked away, he pointed to his eyes then at Axel. It may have been more threatening if it hadn't been something a pre-teen would do. Even so, Axel held up his hands, all innocence.

     'So probability that I'm gonna get my skull cracked by that keyblade of his?'

     Roxas hopped down from the podium, entering the shadow of the building with no reservations at all. Though he was human now and at just as much risk from the shadows, he didn't fear them, or Axel, not in the least.

     'One in ten. The other nine are him trying to do a cool throwing move, missing completely, then playing it off as it being intentional. He _really_ can't get the hang of throwing attacks. You could probably teach him a thing or two.'

     Roxas leaned against the building wall, legs stretched out in front of him. Without looking at Axel, he reached out to entwine their fingers. There was a slight pause, probably surprise, before Axel's fingers curled around his.

     'It's all in the hips.'

     Roxas smiled, thumb rubbing over Axel's.

     'So are you really not here to kill me? You can tell the truth now. Promise I won't crack your skull with my keyblade.'

     'Contrary to Xemnas' orders, nope, not got any plans to kill you. I hate to disappoint and all --'

     'Really threw my plans for the day out of whack, to be honest.'

     'Very rude of me. Can't apologize enough.'

     'I'll forgive you. This time, anyway.' Roxas rested his head against the bricks, looking up to scrutinize Axel's expression. Despite his joking tone, his features were stiff, his hand squeezing tight. 'So you're really here to talk. Good. I've missed you.'

     'Yeah?' Axel ducked his head. He wasn't blushing, he wasn't the blushing sort, but it was clear to see he was flustered. 'Well, er, I missed you too. Obviously.'

     'You can be mad at me too, if you want. I'd understand if you were.'

     With his free hand, Axel rubbed tiredly at his eyes.

     'Maybe I am, at least a little. But I kind of understand now. Why you left, I mean. Why you didn't tell me what was going on.'

     'I didn't understand myself what was going on, so explaining it wasn't something I considered. I wanted to tell you a lot of stuff. About here, mostly. I love this town. They have a tram and a train and this big tournament every few months. There was lots of stuff I wanted to tell you about it.'

     'We'll talk about it. You can tell me everything.' Axel exhaled heavily, head knocking against the wall as he slouched. 'I met my Other. His name's Lea.'

     Roxas squeezed Axel's hand a little tighter.

     'When I first started seeing Sora, it called everything I thought I knew about myself into question. Are you okay?'

     To Roxas' surprise, Axel laughed.

     'I am... better than I think I've ever been. You know he was wearing this piss yellow scarf? I'd never wear something that ugly.'

     'It'd clash with your hair,' Roxas said.

     'Clashed with his fucking hair.' Axel's laugh was louder now, more self-assured. 'I'm definitely taller than him. And a better fighter.'

     'It took me a week to figure out that Sora has three of the exact same jumpsuits that he wears all the time. _Jumpsuits._ So many zips, too.'

     'We're definitely our own people in terms of fashion, if nothing else.'

     'Comforting, isn't it?' Roxas tugged on Axel's hands, pulling him to sit down on the floor with him. 'So we have movie nights, and game nights, stuff like that. I'm not even trying, and I just keep loving the stuff Sora isn't keen on, or hating his favourites. Not even intentionally! He loves horror films. Thinks they're amazing. And you know I can't stand them. And he's the same with games. Anything creepy, stuff with guns, all that. He loves them, I can't see the appeal _at all_.'

     'You'd think we'd be more like them,' Axel said pensively, 'If we're just... an echo of who they are, you'd think we'd just have a diluted version of their personalities...'

     'But we _don't,_ Axel.' Roxas' eyes were bright, as eager as Axel had ever seen him. 'We're not them. We thought we were, and even they thought we would be too, but that's just not how it works at all. Sora doesn't bite his nails, never has.'

     'I wonder if Lea hates crowded places. Or the ways onions crunch.'

     Roxas leaned forward to meet Axel's eyes, his other hand coming up to cup the back of his neck.

     'That's what I'm saying. _It doesn't matter._ _You_ hate crowded places. _You_ won't eat anything that has onions in. _You_ like horror movies and those really stupid comedies and you love to swim but you hate getting water up your nose, and those are all _you._ Lea doesn't matter. All those qualities are yours.'

     Axel shifted closer, touching his forehead to Roxas'. His head _hurt._ It was all too much all at once. He'd accepted who he was, as illusory and unneeded as an existence could be, and even though it was a cruel truth, at least it was a truth. It had been harder when there had been no answers for him at all. So though the truth had been hateful, Axel had accepted it, internalized it, and believed in it.

     But now the truth he had lived by was wrong.

     Axel wasn't some unfeeling creature, a mere consequence to somebody else's actions. Maybe he should never have come into existence, but the fact remained that he _had,_ and had developed a personality entirely of his own. He shared a face with Lea, and perhaps some characteristics were the same, but no more so than any two people in proximity with one another.

     Axel was, for all intents and purposes, a real human being. That was awfully difficult to reconcile with the life he had been living until that moment.

     'It doesn't feel real.'

     'I know.'

     'Everything's changed, but -- but nothing has either? What happens now? I don't want to go back. I want to stay with you.'

     'You can. You will. It's okay.'

     Axel didn't realize he had begun to cry until Roxas wiped the tears from his face. He cringed, embarrassed, and hid his face against Roxas' neck. Roxas wrapped his arms around his shoulders, nose pressed into his hair.

     Neither of them said any more. They stayed huddled together in the shade of the Sandlot, not pulling apart even when Axel had calmed himself down. It hadn't even been a month that they had been apart, but it had felt like so much longer, for both of them. There were still questions to be asked, a decision to be made, but they lingered in one another's silence for a while. They hadn't been at peace together for a long time.

     'Can you do it for him?'

     By the time they asked Sora that question, Axel and Roxas were completely composed, their hands still joined in the shadow of the building.

     Sora summoned Oathkeeper, his earlier hostility easing.

     'I _can,_ but it can't be undone. You have to be sure.'

     Axel looked to Roxas and imagined what it would be like to feel the warmth of his hand. There was no doubt in his heart.

     'I'm sure.'

     His scream cut through the tranquil quiet of the Sandlot, the darkness cleaved from him with Oathkeeper's power. It rose into the air, fading into nothing in the light of the sun. When Axel found his feet again, fingers still linked with Roxas', he stepped out into the perpetual sunset, feeling the sun's warmth for the first time.

 

\---

 

**One Month Later**

 

It was a steep climb, more stairs than there had any right to be and no thought given to the possibility of installing a lift, but Roxas took the steps two at a time, plastic bag knocking into his side. He was barely out of breath when he reached the top, and in record time too.

     'Hey, man!' Hayner hopped up from the ledge to greet him with a one armed hug and a grin. 'How goes the world saving?'

     'Win me a bet, Roxas,' Pence called, waving a newspaper over his shoulder, 'You were definitely involved with this, right?'

     'No one's arguing that, Pence,' Olette objected. She patted the empty space on the ledge beside her and Roxas sat down. Twilight Town stretched out below them, the view from the Clocktower unbeatable.

     'How much did you bet?' Roxas asked. His eyes followed the train leaving the town, calculating the time before it would return. Half an hour, give or take. Not long now. 'Let me see.'

     Pence passed the newspaper down the line. It was front page news, unsurprisingly. _Are The Beasts Gone For Good?_ A blurry picture of a group fighting Dusks took up most of the page. Leon hadn't succeeded in stopping them printing the picture, then. Not that it mattered. No one could be identified from it, the picture so dark and grainy, unless you knew who to look for.

     Sora and Roxas were the easiest to make out, their keyblades the photographer's focus. Riku had moved out of the forefront when he had noticed the photographer hanging out their window, so he was just a streak of silver in the background. Everyone else was facing the other way, so even Roxas struggled to pick out who was who.

     'Yep, that's us. Not a picture I'd bother framing, though.'

     'Knew it!' Pence exclaimed happily.

     'Who were you even betting against?' Olette asked, 'Neither of us disagreed that it was them.'

     'Fuu and Rai. They said Roxas was, and I quote here, 'too much of a lamer' to fight Dusks.'

     Hayner met Roxas' eyes, pulling a face.

     'Try not to take that too much to heart, Roxas, as devastating a blow to your self-esteem as it must be.'

     'Such harsh words. I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight.'

     'Make sure your eyes aren't too red when you go out tomorrow. Don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they upset you,' Olette interjected. They all laughed, Roxas shaking his head. He'd certainly been called worse in his time.

     It wasn't long before the trio had caught Roxas up on everything he had missed in his weeks away. The next Struggle tournament date had been announced, there was going to be a festival the following month to celebrate the first day of Autumn, all three had started doing odd jobs here and there to earn a bit of money. They were surprised when Roxas could guess exactly what part time jobs they were doing without being told. He still had the Market Street bulletin board memorized.

     As for Roxas, he filled them in on the work he had been doing as he travelled around the neighbouring cities, as far as Radiant Garden. Returning the skies to their natural state was his primary job, disposing of Dusks on the side. All the major cities had been returned to normal now, and the night lamp method that Radiant Garden had been utilizing was not being introduced in most places, to make the nights safer.

     It had been an exhausting few weeks, but fulfilling too. He had righted the wrongs he had done while with the Organization, or at least made a start to. The group had begun to trust him, and Axel too, and imminent death wasn't as great a concern as it had been before. Even the Organization had fallen quiet, crippled by the loss of two of their members to the opposition, particularly their keyblade wielder.

     'Sounds exhausting, but nothing compared to my mail run,' Hayner said when Roxas had finished talking, 'Gotta go up and down that bloody hill all day. I'll have thighs like Hulk before we know it.'

     'It sounds fun, though. I might get a part time job too.' Roxas looked thoughtful. 'Maybe the ice cream place could use an extra pair of hands.'

     'Go for it. No harm in asking,' Hayner agreed, reaching around Olette to clap Roxas on the shoulder.

     'Yeah, it's always nice to have a little extra money,' Olette added.

     Roxas watched the railway platform, still empty for now, and found himself smiling. It was something to consider. A very _human_ thing for him to do, and maybe he'd even get a discount on ice cream in future.

     Roxas' eyes widened a little. Speaking of which...

     'Here, I grabbed these on the way up.'

     From his now rather damp plastic bag, Roxas pulled out three sticks of sea salt ice cream and passed them out to the others. They took them with thanks, wasting no time in unwrapping them and digging in. They were more than a little melted, the day particularly humid, but there were no complaints.

     'Aren't you having one, Rox?' Pence asked, wiping a drip from his chin.

     Roxas watched the train coming slowly down the winding track, still a bit away from the station.

     'Not yet.'

     Hayner, Pence and Olette went home a short while later with the promise of meeting at the Usual Spot tomorrow afternoon. The wait felt more annoying now that he was alone, no idle chatter to distract from his excitement. He was very aware of the ice creams melting in the bag, that it had been over three weeks since he seen Axel last, that too much could have changed while Axel was spending time with Lea.

     By the time Axel reached the top of the Clocktower, Roxas was pacing anxiously, damn near glaring at the stationary train down below.

     'Someone's antsy.'

     Roxas stilled, glancing over to the steps.

     'What the fuck happened to your face?'

     'Charming. Hello to you, too. I'm fine thanks. Missed you. Et cetera, et cetera.'

     Etched below each of Axel's eyes was an upside down teardrop shape, a vivid purple in colour. The skin around the marks was red and shiny, the edges somewhat raised. The tattoos were fresh, perhaps only days old.

     Otherwise, Axel didn't look any different. He was wearing his hair in a ponytail, and his clothes were new but similar to the style he always wore, sans their old black leather coats.

     But face tattoos.

     'Ow, don't -- still a bit tender, Rox.'

     Roxas gently traced the surrounding skin, hesitant, barely touching.

     'Did it hurt?' he asked, fascinated. It was such a _bright_ purple, too.

     'Not more than Oathkeeper did.'

     'No one'll mix up you and Lea anymore.'

     'I'm not even joking, when he saw them, he started talking about getting matching ones. I coulda hit him, I swear to god.'

     Roxas laughed, fingers stroking down the side of Axel's face. Axel's hand came up to cover Roxas', the two of them just standing there for a long moment. Axel broke the silence first, turning his face to kiss Roxas' palm, and saying, 'Saw the paper. You've been busy.'

     Roxas led Axel to the edge, the two of them crouching down to sit on the ledge. From the bag, he pulled out the last two sea salt ice creams, wet to the touch.

     'We've managed to clear the darkness from the skies the Organization targeted, and without me or someone else like me, they shouldn't be able to do the same thing again. They still have control over the Dusks, so night is as dangerous as it ever was, but with more people being chosen to wield keyblades, the threat gets smaller by the day.'

     'Yeah, Lea was saying that they're implementing the night lamps on a big scale.'

     'Wards off the Dusks and creates jobs. Win, win.'

     The two of them ate their ice creams, mindful of the way they were dripping. Their sleeves were the closest things to tissues they had, so before long, their fingers were sticky and their cuffs stained with blue splotches.

     'I hear Sora is taking off soon,' Axel said, scrutinizing Roxas' reaction.

     'Yeah.' Roxas' smiled was a little sad. 'He likes to travel all over the place, and he hasn't been back to the Island for a while. Twilight Town was meant to be his vacation, after all.'

     'Oh yeah, it's been nothing but relaxation for the guy,' Axel sniggered.

     'They're letting me keep the house,' Roxas said, 'They'll send me off on jobs as and when I'm needed, but otherwise, they said I can stay here, if I want. They'll even put the house in my name officially. Can you believe that?'

     Axel bumped his shoulder against Roxas'.

     'All it needs is a white picket fence.'

     'And you.'

     A pause, then that bark of laughter. It had been a while since Roxas had managed to make Axel laugh just from surprise. It felt like old times, but better.

     'Why, Roxas, are you asking me to move in with you?'

     'We shared a bedroom for ages. Is this not the same thing?'

     Axel took a bite of what little remained of his ice cream, looking down at the town beneath them.

     'Feels different now, though. More real.'

     Roxas ducked down, making Axel meet his eyes.

     'Good real, though, right?'

     'Yeah, Rox.' Axel leaned over to touch his forehead to Roxas'. 'Good real.'

     As simple as that, the decision was made. Then they began to talk about other decisions. A big TV was a must. Clearing out the garden of any furniture so they could have a training area. Having separate bedrooms, at least at first, so they could have a space to call their own, but alternating between them to share a bed.

     'Definitely a dog, but we should probably start off smaller, first. Like, a budgie or a fish,' Axel said, the bare ice cream stick pinched between his teeth.

     'Or a pet rock,' Roxas said, face completely straight, 'Low maintenance, probably won't die, we won't have to clean up after it. There are no downsides.'

     ' _Probably_ won't die? What the fuck're you planning to do to the rock?'

     'Rocks aren't immortal, Axel, we need to face that truth before we commit to owning one.'

     'True, true,' Axel said soberly, 'There's always erosion to worry about... Hey, what's that?'

     Roxas blinked, unsure what Axel was referring to. When Axel nodded at him, he looked down and saw what he meant. Printed upon Roxas' finished ice cream stick was the word _WINNER_ in big black letters.

     'Hey, I won.'

     Roxas grinned, holding up the stick in front of him.

     'Yeah? What'd you win? Money, a honeymoon, a car?'

     'Another ice cream.'

     Axel only laughed, 'You'll lose all your teeth at this rate.'

     It was evening before they finally left the Clocktower, taking the long way back to the house. Their house. Roxas held on to the stick. _Winner,_ it said, and he truly felt that he had won. To be human. To be with Axel. To have friends and a home and a life all of his own.

     Roxas slipped the _WINNER_ stick into the pocket of Axel's pants, unable to keep the smile from his face.

 

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**Author's Note:**

> this was a oneshot that got really out of hand, a smidge too long to post as one thing, so it's gonna be in four parts. it's already finished, so i'll update weekly, a chapter every friday. i hope you guys enjoy it!


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